Penny: That top has paid off in free drinks 10 times what I originally paid for it.
Sheldon: Yes, Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.

Mary: Could the reason you can't find a guy is because you're letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?
Penny: Oh, they don't always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

Sheldon: This is banana bread.
Penny: This is a door knob.

Penny: (To Howard and Raj) So either one of you weirdos wanna buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Penny: I'm a little low on cash.
Leonard: How much you got?
Penny: Nothing.
Leonard: How can you walk around with no money?
Penny: I'm cute, I get by.

Penny: Amy, little vixen. Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.

(Sheldon knocks on Penny's door three times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. (Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. (Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny.

Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: She doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a Sheldon.

Penny: (Reading tweet) "Listening to Dr. Cooper has made me wanna start cutting myself again."

Zack: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. I forget the rest.
Penny: All right. Let's get this thing over with.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?
Howard: Relax. No one's going to be looking at her hair. Ow! I mean, ow.
Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Penny, there's no I in Justice League.
Howard: Well, actually.
Sheldon: Don't. He's making our case.
Zack: Okay, babe. You're kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.
Penny: Okay. You know what? I changed my mind. I'm not going.

Penny: And remember, he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
Sheldon: That doesn't help.
Penny: No, I was talking to the bird.

Sheldon: You have to drive me to work.
Penny: Yeah, I really don't think I do.
Sheldon: But I don't drive and I can't take the bus.
Penny: Alright, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee chord thing.

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

Penny: Look, Sheldon, I'm really, really sorry but it's only going to be for a week. Can't you be a little bit flexible?
[Leonard, Howard, Raj and Sheldon all look at her]
Penny: Yeah, sorry, I didn't really think that through.