Professor Proton: We'll be right back after I fire my writers.

Professor Proton: This is something interesting, boys and girls. After an owl eats, he spits up part of his meal, that he can't digest, in the form of a pellet. Isn't that a hoot?

Sheldon: Can I invite you in for tea?
Professor Proton: No, I really have to run .
*Penny walks in the room*
Penny: Hey Arthur, how are you?
Professor Proton: Well I guess one cup wouldn't hurt.

Sheldon: Arthur, I'm surprised to see your here.
Professor Proton: Yeah, me too. Somewhere around the third floor I began to see a white light.

Professor Proton: I was thinking if it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to get your opinion about my paper.
Sheldon: Thank you, it would be an honor.
*Professor Proton hands Sheldon his paper*
Sheldon: Actually, I don't need that. I hacked into your email account and read it.
Professor Proton: What did you think?
Sheldon: First, I think the fact you use your birthday as a password is embarrassing.
Professor Proton: Thank you.
Sheldon: Second, I thought your paper was inspired.
Professor Proton: Well that means a lot to me.

Professor Proton: (To Penny) So, you have any single grandmothers?
Penny: Sorry, they're both married.
Professor Proton: Good. .... Happily?

Leonard: Oh, gees.
Professor Proton: Another photo from Sheldon?
Leonard: No, I have to go pick him up. Bill Nye ditched him at the smoothie place.
Professor Proton: He probably stole his wallet too.

Leonard: Okay, we're almost ready to go. Once we bond the wires, we can test the tubes.
Professor Proton: This is so exciting. I feel like I'm seventy-five again.

Bill Nye: What are you guys working on?
Leonard: We're making nano-vacuum tubes.
Bill Nye: Interesting.
Professor Proton: Haven't you stolen enough from? Back off bow-tie!

Bill Nye: Wow, Arthur Jeffries. It's an honor to meet you. My show would never have happened without yours.
Professor Proton: That's what I told my lawyers.

Professor Proton: If someone had told me people would still call me Professor Proton when I was eighty-three years old, I never would have quit smoking.

Sheldon: Now that you and I are friends again, I am at your disposal. And frankly, lending my name and reputation to it will help. Because a lot of people think you're a washed up has-been ... or dead.
Professor Proton: I should be so lucky.

Professor Proton: Sheldon, in a couple of hours I have to get up, pee and then wander around the house.

Professor Proton: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.
Professor Proton: She sounds like a keeper.

Sheldon: No, wait. I'm really good at this. Give me a hint. Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Professor Proton: Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.