Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.

Sheldon: I wrote a fan letter to you when I was a child in Texas, and you sent this autographed picture back to me. Do you remember that?
Professor Proton: I'll give you a hint. I have a bracelet with my own address on it.

Leonard: You want one of us to go with you in the ambulance?
Sheldon: I'll do it.
Professor Proton: He's not a relative. He's not allowed, right?
Paramedic: No, that's not a rule. He can go.
Professor Proton: I can't catch a break today.

Sheldon: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Professor Proton: Thank you, Sheldon. That, that was very nice.
Sheldon: Want me to sing it again?
Professor Proton: No. The fourth, the fourth time was the charm.

Sheldon: Should I call myself Professor Proton, Jr.?
Professor Proton: Sounds great.
Sheldon: So, in a way, it's like I'm your son.
Professor Proton: Whatever.
Sheldon: Father.
Professor Proton: Sure, what the hell.