Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 1 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Jenna: You might not want to get too close. Pink eye.
Raj: Me, too! Bacterial?
Jenna: Yeah.
Raj: Same! (laughs) I-I know this is gonna sound crazy, but would you be interested in going to a wedding with me?

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Amy: Hey, whatever kind of pink eye their kids have, I have, and I need to know. And if it's viral, I'm screwed.
Howard: Maybe not. You know, I know it's not traditional wedding attire, but how about a welder's mask?
Raj: If you know a welder, that could be your "something borrowed".

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Raj: Hey, why didn't you invite him in the first place?
Sheldon: You don't know what it was like growing up with him.
Raj: I get it; I grew up with lots of brothers. My brother Adoot was especially mean.
Leonard: Really? I've never heard you mention Adoot.
Raj: Yeah, sure I have. He's the one who left the door open when we were kids, and my pet mongoose ran away. Stupid Adoot.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Howard: So, how was your date?
Raj: It was going well until my eye dripped in her latte.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Raj: You just have to wait for science to catch up or technology to get cheaper. Think about, uh, DVD players. They used to cost, like, a thousand dollars, but just the other day I used one to smash a bug.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Howard: Hey. Missed you guys at the faculty mixer.
Raj: Ah, you should have been there; dessert was bananas. Sorry, that was misleading. The dessert was pie, but the pie was bananas. Actually, the pie was cherry, but the taste of the pie was bananas.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Raj: I was being I was being a jerk. We did this together, and I hogged all of the credit. And after you've been such a good friend to me over the years. Like, I wouldn't even be able to talk to women if it wasn't for you, so so I'm I'm gonna make sure that your name is on the comet.
Penny: Thank you.
Raj: Even if it's professionally embarrassing. You know, or maybe put me on thin ice at work. I may lose my funding. I still, uh still want to make this right.
Penny: Good. Bye.
Raj: That worked way better with Leonard.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Raj: I'm sorry.
Penny: I haven't even said anything yet.
Raj: I know, but I heard your footsteps coming up the stairs, and they sounded angry.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Raj: You don't understand. Leonard, I need this. My last big discovery was: if you press your upper lip hard enough, you can block a sneeze.
Leonard: I told you that.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Raj: Well, I'm sorry she's upset. But she didn't discover it.
Leonard: Oh, come on, you know she was a part of it. Just add her name to the registration.
Raj: But I already told everyone at work that I did it. My boss was so excited, he started calling me Captain Comet. Which is better than his last nickname for me: Dr. Doughnuts. Because one time I had two doughnuts. And two times I had three doughnuts.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Penny: Look at that! I discovered a comet! Oh!
Raj: What do you mean you discovered it?
Penny: Well, I'm the one who saw it.
Raj: In my telescope that I positioned. All you did was look into it.
Leonard: Well, you both discovered it. You can put both your names on the registration form.
Raj: Actually, we can't.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: Because when I filled it out, it asked for name of discoverer, and I put "Rajesh Koothrappali" because because that's who I am, and that's what I did.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Doctor Wolcott: Well, um, I don't normally allow strangers into my house.
Raj: But when you do, you-you let them out, right?

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: Well, this place is creepy.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Well, did you see his vegetable garden? Heirloom tomatoes in April. Creepy.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Doctor Wolcott: Yeah, I'm a married man myself.
Leonard: Oh, really? Is she here?
Howard: And alive?
Raj: And can people other than you see her?

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Raj: Oh, that's plenty to go on. We can't give up. We got to find her.
Bernadette: You just want to find her 'cause she's cute.
Raj: Not just because she's cute. She also owns a pretty expensive drone, which means she has money and doesn't mind wasting it. And I I like that in a woman.

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