Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 1 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Raj: Yeah, I know.
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Then why are you holding my hand?

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Raj: I found her boarding pass in her purse. It's totally her.

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Sheldon: As such, your behavior must reflect the highest standards. Uh, Raj. Bagel down.
Raj: If my blood sugar drops and I get bitchy, it's on you.

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Raj: Just remember, you're in charge. Don't let her pull you.
Bert: That seems like an unnecessary thing to say.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Amy: You know, you're right. This is a huge day for me, and I'm allowed to enjoy it without worrying how it's going to affect my husband.
Raj: Is it me or did it just get fierce in here?

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Amy: Raj, please, not now.
Raj: Hey, what's wrong?
Amy: My picture's all over the Internet, and I look terrible.
Raj: No. Let me see. Well, that is an unfortunate angle. But who cares? You just won the Nobel. You should be proud of this moment.
Amy: I know I shouldn't care about how I look, and I never thought I did. It-It's stupid and shallow, but I just can't help it. Am I really this frumpy?
Raj: No. No, you are a beautiful woman. By the way, if you're not happy with those pictures, then make some changes. Get a haircut, new clothes, new glasses, big glasses - No glasses, then you won't be able to see those pictures.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Raj: Come on. Do something for yourself.
Amy: Well, I suppose I could get a haircut.
Raj: And some makeup and a new wardrobe and a little thank you gift for your shopping buddy if we see something he likes. Come on.
Amy: Where are we going?
Raj: Beverly Hills, where the things he likes are.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Raj: Well, we got into this because we both wanted to get married, and honestly, we've been dragging our feet, and I think this is the push that we need.
Bernadette: Wait, so you're gonna ask her to marry you?
Raj: Why not? We like each other, plus, we both want to start a family. Hey, I can work from anywhere, I'm an astronomer. They have stars in London, and I'm not just talking about Dame Judi Dench.
Howard: No one thought you were.
Bernadette: I thought he was.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Raj: How's the concierge conference? You guys just get theater tickets for each other all day long?
Anu:It's going great, and the company put me in a nice place in Notting Hill.
Raj: Notting Hill? Like the movie? Uh, "I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl saying" you better bring me home a T-shirt.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Raj: What does that mean for us?
Anu: Well, how committed are you to staying in California?
Raj: This is where my work is, this is where my friends are.
Anu: But are you happy?
Raj: Not for years. What's your point?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Bernadette: When does Anu come back from London?
Raj: Next week. But it's been good, you know? Really given me a chance to focus on myself.
Howard: How's that going?
Raj: I didn't like what I saw, got in my car, drove over here.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Denise: Hey, guys.
Raj: Hey.
Howard: Hey.
Denise: I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.
Raj: It's all right, neither did they.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Bernadette: She has slept over every night this week.
Raj: Uh, no, no, she wasn't here Wednesday night.
Howard: Yes, she was. You didn't notice because you were in the hot tub in the backyard eating Oreos.
Raj: That reminds me. [gets up, goes to the shopping list and writes:] Oreos.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Howard: So guess what. There was a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory back in the day who kind of had a thing for me.
Raj: Other than Bernadette? That does not sound right.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Raj: We know it wasn't Penny, we know it wasn't Susan-
Howard: Wait. How do we know it wasn't Susan?
Raj: Uh, because she had a type.
Howard: What type?
Raj: Don't make me say it.
Howard: Are you saying I'm not a handsome guy?
Raj: See? It's mean, right?

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