Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

Dr. Koothrappali: Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee?
Raj: What?! No!
Dr. Koothrappali: That's what her parents told me when they said they were calling off the wedding. But I told them you would never do such a thing.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I did install a camera and I did spy on her, but I did not install it to spy on her.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Raj: Huh. That is so strange. Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow. [to his dog] Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes? I have a problem here.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Raj: Yeah, I know.
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Then why are you holding my hand?

Raj: I found her boarding pass in her purse. It's totally her.

Sheldon: As such, your behavior must reflect the highest standards. Uh, Raj. Bagel down.
Raj: If my blood sugar drops and I get bitchy, it's on you.

Raj: Just remember, you're in charge. Don't let her pull you.
Bert: That seems like an unnecessary thing to say.

Amy: You know, you're right. This is a huge day for me, and I'm allowed to enjoy it without worrying how it's going to affect my husband.
Raj: Is it me or did it just get fierce in here?

Raj: Come on. Do something for yourself.
Amy: Well, I suppose I could get a haircut.
Raj: And some makeup and a new wardrobe and a little thank you gift for your shopping buddy if we see something he likes. Come on.
Amy: Where are we going?
Raj: Beverly Hills, where the things he likes are.

Amy: Raj, please, not now.
Raj: Hey, what's wrong?
Amy: My picture's all over the Internet, and I look terrible.
Raj: No. Let me see. Well, that is an unfortunate angle. But who cares? You just won the Nobel. You should be proud of this moment.
Amy: I know I shouldn't care about how I look, and I never thought I did. It-It's stupid and shallow, but I just can't help it. Am I really this frumpy?
Raj: No. No, you are a beautiful woman. By the way, if you're not happy with those pictures, then make some changes. Get a haircut, new clothes, new glasses, big glasses - No glasses, then you won't be able to see those pictures.

Raj: Well, we got into this because we both wanted to get married, and honestly, we've been dragging our feet, and I think this is the push that we need.
Bernadette: Wait, so you're gonna ask her to marry you?
Raj: Why not? We like each other, plus, we both want to start a family. Hey, I can work from anywhere, I'm an astronomer. They have stars in London, and I'm not just talking about Dame Judi Dench.
Howard: No one thought you were.
Bernadette: I thought he was.

Raj: How's the concierge conference? You guys just get theater tickets for each other all day long?
Anu:It's going great, and the company put me in a nice place in Notting Hill.
Raj: Notting Hill? Like the movie? Uh, "I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl saying" you better bring me home a T-shirt.

Raj: What does that mean for us?
Anu: Well, how committed are you to staying in California?
Raj: This is where my work is, this is where my friends are.
Anu: But are you happy?
Raj: Not for years. What's your point?