Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 59

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Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Amy: Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?
Raj: Yeah, I like to think so.
Amy: Great. Because I need to tell you something about Howard, but you can't tell him that I told you.
Raj: Nope. Don't want to hear it. Do not like to engage in gossip.
Amy: Okay. I respect your integrity.
Raj: Is it about his special underwear? Because I already know. And that's all I'll say. Fine, it has a charcoal filter in it.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: Uh-oh. They gave us plain rice instead of fried rice.
Raj: Well, no fair! I SoulCycled this morning. I'm entitled to a pile of fat rice.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: (Cell phone rings) Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette. I assigned her her own ringtone, Bernadette by The Four Tops. Hello, Bernadette.
Raj: When I call him, his phone plays Brown Eyed Girl. Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.
Raj: Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. One of them goes to my dry cleaner. Who, by the way, hates him.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: How did you even get it in here?
Raj: That's for me, Ramon, Julio, Jesus and Rodrigo to know and you to find out.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: Hello. I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It's one of his best moves.

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Raj: So, what are you guys doing later? Stuart and I were thinking of going out for a drink.
Stuart: We're gonna try to meet some girls.
Raj: 'cause that's what we do.
Stuart: Watch out, ladies, a little coffee and cream coming your way.
Raj: In case you didn't follow that, I'm the coffee.

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Sheldon: Age seven, a blood-thirsty chicken chases me up a tree. Age twelve, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth. Age sixteen, a parrot in a pet store called me fat ass. Need I go on?
Raj: Yes, please. This is way better than the movie.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Raj: Why are you holding hands? I forbid you to hold hands.
Priya: Rajesh, you know Leonard and I spent the night together.
Raj: Yeah, but you were just sleeping, because I forboded you to have sex.
Leonard: The word is forbade.
Raj: Are you sure? That doesn't sound right.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Raj: It's completely inappropriate for a single woman to entertain a man in private. If you insist on talking, you must do it on the couch! All right, you may talk in the bedroom, but I want this door to remain open! All right, just this once you may close the door. But keep in mind I'll be right out here monitoring the situation! (Makes a phone call) Oh, damn it. Leonard, when you get this message, call me. (Makes another call) Priya, this is your brother. When you get this, tell Leonard to check his voicemail.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Raj: You mean like when a guy's upset because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him and then doesn't show up because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?
Howard: I didn't know you were upset about that.
Raj: Really! Did you miss all the subtle indicators, like me saying, "Howard, I am upset".
Howard: Okay, sorry.
Raj: Maybe it means something different in this country. Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard!

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: Well, this sucks.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I got bored and drifted off. Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie?
Raj: Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him from her friends because he's a tiny, little man who flies kites.
Sheldon: Oh, that certainly would suck.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Raj: I don't know which Hemsworth is playing Logan Dean, but I know it's a Hemsworth.
Leonard: Well, Logan's actually based on me.
Raj: So a young Paul Giamatti.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Bethany: So what do you guys do?
Howard: Oh, you know, goth stuff. Goth magazines, goth music.
Raj: Goth food.
Sarah: What's goth food?
Raj: Uh ... blackened salmon?

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