Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 55

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Good morning! Scones?
Stuart: Ah, thanks.
Raj: They're all for you; I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.
Howard: You're kidding. You slept with her?
Raj: Well, there wasn't a lot of sleeping involved. I mean, she slept, I stayed awake. I was afraid of snoring 'cause I didn't have my special pillow.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Ruchi: Arre uske taang pay ball kar!
Howard: What'd she say?
Raj: Uske taang pay ball kar.
Howard: Oh, that clears that up.
Raj: Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
Ruchi: I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
Raj: Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence!
Ruchi: Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so-
Raj: Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, there's, like, 120,000 people.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Hey, uh, who's free tonight?
Leonard: Oh, I think I'm-
Sheldon: Hang on. We've made this mistake before. It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.
Raj: Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, and you know it.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
Leonard: No, no, no, would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it.
Raj: How hard did she stomp?
Leonard: Very hard.
Raj: Okay, I'm good.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Yeah, well, Raj, I just want to say that I'd never betray your trust. Unlike Leonard, I respect you.
Leonard: Really?
Howard: Mmm.
Leonard: Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
Raj: Dude! I put that thing on my face!

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Hey, I've got a girlfriend now.
Raj: Oh please. My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it.
Howard: Let's just agree theyre both hot.
Raj: Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to LA, Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship, and to you, that neither of us would hit on her.
Raj: Did you pinky swear?
Howard: Yes.
Raj: Okay then.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Leonard: Would you ever get a vasectomy?
Raj: Uh, in case you haven't noticed, Indians aren't too big on birth control. There's probably, like, a million more of us since we started this conversation.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bull-whip and fedora?
Howard: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Raj: I was thinking of dressing up as Indiana Jones' mocha-skinned love child, Indian Jones.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Before I forget, I'd like your opinion on the menus I've prepared for the Halloween party. The theme is food that goes bump in the night.
Howard: Creature from the Black Forest Ham Lagoon.
Raj: On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
Sheldon: Night of the Living Garlic Bread?
Raj: It's funny because bread sounds like dead.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but these are just ordinary foods with the names bent into tortured puns. The dishes themselves are in no way Halloweenie.
Raj: Ooh, Hallow-weenies! That's a good one. They'll pair nicely with my Draculoni and Cheese. How do I do it?

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: You know, you don't worry about money. Ill take care of everything.
Stuart: Really?
Raj: Yeah, youll love it. Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: Hey, what are you working on?
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you're still here?
Raj: Well, of course I'm here. I know what you're going through.
Bernadette: Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house?
Raj: I did, but then he came over here.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: You say you're busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. Although I suppose bees do dance, but their dance lets other bees know where the pollen is, and yours does not. So my logic, despite that slight detour, does track.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me.
Howard: Well, I'd love to, but we're just about to test the interface. It could take a while.
Raj: Okay, buddy, it-- it's not my place, but Bernadette's been feeling a little abandoned with all the hours that you've been putting in.
Amy: You just asked him to go to the movies.
Raj: Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered into their marriage, and yours was not.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Bernadette: Everything's fine. Howard's really excited about his work, he's been in a great mood I'm really proud of him.
Raj: And I can fit into the pants I wore in high school. Come on, we don't need to lie to each other.
Bernadette: You're right. I have a teething baby, I'm pregnant, I have a proposal due tomorrow. I don't have time to hear about how much you're missing my husband.
Raj: Well, I think I know why he's been working so late.

Showing quotes 31 to 45 of 811Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes