Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Bernadette: And the best part is, Stuart showed it to a publisher friend of his, and they're interested in it.
Raj: That is so cool.
Howard: Absolutely not.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Because I don't want the whole world to know I was the frightened little astronaut!
Raj: Maybe you should've called it The Bitchy Little Astronaut.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Sheldon: Look at this. They posted another video. It's not even about science. They're on a celebrity bus tour.
Raj: Those are fun. I went on one and saw Tom Hanks talking to his gardener. He's even nice when you plant the wrong color azaleas.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Leonard: Those guys are good at self-promoting, so what? No one ever won a Nobel for being nice.
Raj: Yeah, but if they did, do you know who would win one?
Howard: Are you gonna say Tom Hanks?
Raj: He picked up a shovel and helped the guy replant.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Raj: This is nice. All my friends hanging out, watching Ellen. It's like, what am I gonna do with my other two wishes?

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Howard: They're still asleep. Apparently, when I put someone down for a nap, they sleep hard.
Raj: That's a weird brag, Howard.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Raj: So, Leonard, what are you gonna do while Penny's away?
Leonard: I don't know. Maybe watch a movie with subtitles.
Sheldon: If you're looking for something outside the norm, I have invented a new chess variant where the bishops can also move like knights.
Raj: What do you call that, Bishops Be Crazy?
Sheldon: First of all, it would be "Bishops Are Crazy."
Raj: Not if you're being crazy.
Leonard: Checkmate.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: You were in Wil's D&D game?
Sheldon: With William Shatner?
Howard: And you didn't tell us?
Leonard: I'm sorry, Wil made me promise not to.
Sheldon: I thought we were friends.
Leonard: Oh, come on, you guys would do the same thing.
Raj: No, we wouldn't! I told you when I was in spin class with Scarlett Johansson.
Leonard: It didn't even turn out to be Scarlett Johansson.
Raj: Well, that's her fault, not mine!

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: Look, we know Leonard is out. You need to fill a seat. It should be one of us.
Leonard: Or give me another chance. I think me and Joe Manganiello were really hitting it off.
Howard: Joe Manganiello was there?
Raj: From Magic Mike?

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Howard: William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard: Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard: Is that a ghost?
Raj: I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon: That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there?
Raj: Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: Hey, you guys want to read my fan fiction mash-up, "Captain Marvelous Mrs.
Maisel"?
Penny: Nope.
Bernadette: No.
Howard: Certainly not.
Raj: You don't even know what it's about.
Bernadette: Is it about a superhero who finds her voice by doing stand-up?
Raj: That's so much better than what I had. Mine is just a Jewish girl that flies.
Howard: I'd read that.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Sheldon: Raj, do you have something to add?
Raj: You brought shame upon yourself and your family. It's not funny, but it's true.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Leonard: Look, Sheldon's pretty embarrassed, so when he gets here, we should-
Howard: Make fun of him?
Leonard: A lot.
Raj: Guys, don't you think that's a little mean?
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: Okay, just so we're all on the same page.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Howard: Oh, poor Shatner.
Raj: Poor Shatner? I have to eat lunch now.

Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Bernadette: We have kids, and it's not smart to put us both in danger.
Raj: That's a good point. When I was little, my parents never flew together. We thought it was because they loved us, but it turns out they hated each other.

Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Anu: They are definitely your weirdest friends.
Raj: If only that were true.

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