Dr. Koothrappali: Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee?
Raj: What?! No!
Dr. Koothrappali: That's what her parents told me when they said they were calling off the wedding. But I told them you would never do such a thing.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I did install a camera and I did spy on her, but I did not install it to spy on her.

Raj: I make one mistake, and she says she doesn't want to marry me. Like she never screwed up.
Bernadette: Did she?
Raj: Well, she agreed to marry me.

Anu: Honestly, Raj, why do you even want to marry me?
Raj: You know, family and India and stuff.
Anu: Here's what I think. All of your friends are married, and you don't want to be left behind. And honestly, that's not a good enough reason.
Raj: Uh, okay, well, how is that different than what you're doing? Hmm? Worried that you wasted so many years dating the wrong people, and now, you're just looking for a shortcut.
Anu: You're right. It's not different.
Raj: Okay, so we agree.
Anu: Yeah.
Raj: Great. Wait. What did we just agree on?
Anu: That we shouldn't see each other anymore.
Raj: You know what? Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?

Raj: Look, we both made mistakes. I am so sorry that I spied on you. I didn't mean to, but I know it was not okay. Now, do you want to apologize to me?
Anu: You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me.
Raj: I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing.

Anu: Go away, Raj! What are you doing?
Raj: I'm winning you back Love Actually style.
Anu: I don't know what that means.
Raj: Really? You've never seen Love Actually? If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.

Raj: So you're still talking to your ex-boyfriend?
Anu: Yes, and I'm not gonna apologize for that. And you need to delete that app from your phone.
Raj: Because you're hiding something from me?
Anu: No, because you should trust me!
Raj: How can I trust you?! I barely even know you!
Anu: Then what are we doing? Why are we planning a wedding?
Raj: I don't know.

Anu: This is pretty exciting, sneaking around like this.
Raj: Oh, so you like sneaking around. Good to know.
Anu: What's that supposed to mean?
Raj: Nothing. Never mind. Let me see if the coast is clear.
Anu: See anybody?
Raj: Yes, I saw a strange man going into your house the other night!
Anu: What?
Raj: But out there, there's nobody.

Anu: This should be fun. I've never played before.
Raj: Oh, fair warning, it can get pretty ugly out there.
Anu: Okay, well, remember, I'm your fiancee.
Raj: Oh, I remember. Do you?

Bernadette: Really? She asked you to move in with her?
Stuart: Yeah, she was hinting around about it, but I think I handled it pretty well.
Raj: "Pretty well"? You ran out of there so fast, if it was a cartoon, there would have been a Stuart-shaped hole in the wall.

Anu: Someone texting you?
Raj: Uh, no. It's just my, uh, doorbell camera.
Anu: Oh. I got one of those for my place, but I never installed it.
Raj: Oh, it's easy. I can do it for you. You're gonna love it. It's how I found out a raccoon was stealing my cheese-of-the-month club.
Anu: What did you do?
Raj: Nothing. I didn't want to piss it off. It was, like, huge from eating all the cheese.

Anu: So I told my mom she just needed to back off. This is our wedding, and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, but this is my specialty.

Leonard: Hey, Penny and I were thinking of getting a big paintball game together.
Howard: Oh, Leonard, why does she want to shoot you?
Leonard: She doesn't want to shoot me.
Raj: Who doesn't want to shoot you?
Leonard: Penny.
Raj: No, that doesn't sound right.

Bernadette: All right. Don't be afraid to be brutally honest. Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants, "Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter."
Raj: That is both sad and true. Half my Instagram is after a good cry.

Bernadette: Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition, so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it.
Raj: Well, as someone who has watched every episode of America's Got Talent, I'm getting pretty good at telling when some American's got talent. Seriously, Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time.

Raj: You got yourself a good one there, buddy.