Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 4 of 60

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Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Smell that? That's the smell of new comic books. Oh, yes!
Howard: They're on me today, boys.
Raj: You're paying? Have you been selling your sperm again?

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Stuart: Uh, hey, Leonard, can I talk to you about something?
Leonard: Oh, sure, what's up?
Stuart: Remember I went out with your friend Penny a couple weeks ago?
Leonard: Yeah, vaguely.
Raj: Sure you remember. You went to the bar and made a fool of yourself trying to pick up strange women.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: Wow. I bet that made Penny take off all of her clothes. ... Put her pajamas on and then go to bed early.
Leonard: At, like, 9:00.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: I don't want to be the one who breaks up the band. You know, maybe you should think about replacing me.
Raj: Okay.
Howard: I mean, I know it'll be hard since we-
Raj: Oh, I bet Bert could do it. He plays guitar. I'm gonna go ask him.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: Hey! Look what I got everybody.
Leonard: Newspapers? Did you find a portal back to the 1990s?
Penny: No. If he had that, he'd be trying to prevent NSYNC from breaking up.
Raj: Oh, please. I'm glad they broke up. Otherwise, Justin would never have brought sexy back.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: Guys, it's under "Things to do this weekend."
Amy: I can't find it. What does it say?
Raj: That it's a thing to do this weekend.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: She's gotten really hooked on Age of Conan, she's playing non-stop.
Raj: Ah, yes, online gaming addiction. There's nothing worse than having that multi-player monkey on your back.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Raj: I mean he only drinks milk. Like, where are the colors coming from?

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Penny: Yeah, and Amy gave me this plastic ring and told me to hold on to it.
Howard: I got one, too.
Leonard: Yeah, same.
Raj: Yeah, me, too. But-but Cinnamon ate it. I-I'll get it back tomorrow.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Raj: No, no, no, no, no. Uh, Aunt Orange can't sit next to the bar without Ms. Pink saying, "Jesus thinks you've had enough whiskey."

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Amy: Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?
Raj: Yeah, I like to think so.
Amy: Great. Because I need to tell you something about Howard, but you can't tell him that I told you.
Raj: Nope. Don't want to hear it. Do not like to engage in gossip.
Amy: Okay. I respect your integrity.
Raj: Is it about his special underwear? Because I already know. And that's all I'll say. Fine, it has a charcoal filter in it.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: Uh-oh. They gave us plain rice instead of fried rice.
Raj: Well, no fair! I SoulCycled this morning. I'm entitled to a pile of fat rice.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: (Cell phone rings) Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette. I assigned her her own ringtone, Bernadette by The Four Tops. Hello, Bernadette.
Raj: When I call him, his phone plays Brown Eyed Girl. Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.
Raj: Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. One of them goes to my dry cleaner. Who, by the way, hates him.

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