Sheldon: Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious Emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. I don't know if I can take it.
Raj: You could power down.

Raj: You say you're busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. Although I suppose bees do dance, but their dance lets other bees know where the pollen is, and yours does not. So my logic, despite that slight detour, does track.

Raj: Hey, uh, who's free tonight?
Leonard: Oh, I think I'm-
Sheldon: Hang on. We've made this mistake before. It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.
Raj: Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, and you know it.

Ruchi: Arre uske taang pay ball kar!
Howard: What'd she say?
Raj: Uske taang pay ball kar.
Howard: Oh, that clears that up.
Raj: Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
Ruchi: I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
Raj: Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence!
Ruchi: Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so-
Raj: Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, there's, like, 120,000 people.

Raj: Come on, you don't believe that everyone has one perfect match?
Ruchi: Of course not. That's ridiculous. I mean, what if your soul mate lived halfway across the world? You'd never meet.
Raj: Yes, you would. I can give you, like, 20 examples where that happened to Kate Hudson alone.

Raj: Love isn't just science. Okay? It's-it's spiritual. It's an acknowledgment of a mystery that's greater than ourselves. It's what makes people write songs and poems, and what has kept The Bachelor on TV for 21 magical seasons.
Ruchi: Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize on a game show slightly undermines your argument?
Raj: Uh, yes. But I've never missed an episode, and I dare science to explain that.

Bernadette: I need you to find out if Ruchi's trying to steal my projects at work while I'm on bed rest.
Raj: She's not that kind of a person. She's-she's generous and charitable.
Bernadette: You're just saying that 'cause she's sleeping with you.
Raj: Yes, that's my favorite charity.

Leonard: Hey, when we sell the Bitcoin, are you gonna pay your dad back all the money you took from him over the years?
Raj: Never even crossed my mind.

Raj: I just want to make a good first impression, and thought maybe you could help me pick out an outfit?
Penny: Of course. Let's see what you got.
Amy: Yeah, you just need to pick something that-that you feel confident in.
Raj: I'm sorry. I left my magic clothes at home.
Penny: I'm sure these two options will be f- So you-you have other clothes at home?

Dr. Koothrappali: Don't make excuses. What kind of friend acts that way?
Raj: Well, I-I guess-
Dr. Koothrappali: It was a rhetorical question. A bad friend!
Raj: Come on, Dad! That's just our relationship, okay? He makes Indian jokes, and I laugh, but, you know, with angry eyes so he knows it's not okay.

Raj: Go for Dr. K.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
Raj: Yes. Who is this?
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Raj: (stammers) Uh, wow. (chuckles) How fun is this Twitter thing, huh?
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: You think you're funny?
Raj: I'm not Seinfeld funny, but I did an open mic night once.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: You're not funny.
Raj: Yeah, that's what they said at the Chuckle Hut.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: How about this, I've got a book signing at Vroman's in Pasadena next week. Why don't you come by and say some of those things to my face?
Raj: (chuckles) Oh, no, but thanks for the invite.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone, remember, I'm the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system.
Raj: And it deserved it, sir. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Anu: Look, your whole sweet, insecure thing is cute, but honestly, I have no time for that. If you're not serious about this, you need to walk away now.
Raj: I-I am serious.
Anu: Good.
Raj: Okay. (chuckles) Okay, what does this mean?
Anu: I think it means I might be the future Mrs. -
Raj: Koothrappali.
Anu: How would you feel if I didn't change my name?
Raj: A little hurt, but you wouldn't know, because I'm too nice.

Anu: Raj. I know we don't know each other very well, but you seem like you'd make a good father and you're tall enough so I can wear heels and I think that's something worth fighting for. Will you marry me?
Raj: (stammering) Oh, my God, oh, my God. Yes, of course, of course I'll marry you!
Anu: If you'd like to kiss me you can.
Raj: Oh, great.
Anu: I should warn you I have a tongue piercing.
Raj: Oh, you're not that nice. (laughs)

Raj: What the hell did you two say to Anu?
Bernadette: Uh, whatever do you mean?
Raj: Why, why would you tell her I wear ladies' deodorant?
Penny: Uh, because you're a boy and it's really funny.
Raj: Oh, oh, okay. Pardon me for having the confidence to smell daisy-fresh.

Raj: You got yourself a good one there, buddy.