Raj: It's not part of my heart-warming and personal narrative, in which a humble boy from New Delhi overcame poverty and prejudice and journeyed to America to reach for the stars.
Howard: Poverty? Your father's a gynaecologist. He drives a Bentley.
Raj: It's a lease.

Raj: God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Leonard: You just got him this afternoon.
Raj: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
Leonard: A lackey?
Raj: Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables.

Raj: "Kandorian dry cleaner-" I give up, you can't have a rational argument with this man.

Raj: Whoa. Humongous man crush, dude.

Leonard: We spent $200 on six minutes of fun.
Raj: It's like when we bought that remote-controlled helicopter and it just flew away.

Raj: Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear.

Emily: There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Oh, so kinda like what's happening with Penny right now.

Raj: I don't believe in tempting fate. Same reason I wouldn't use a ouiji board or pick a fight with an Asian guy. Probably doesn't know karate, but why risk it?

Penny: Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily?
Raj: I don't need science to win her heart, I have my family's wealth for that.

Howard: Sheldon, I owe you an apology. Taking the train was a stroke of brilliance. I've actually got a shot with a Terminator.
Raj: Oh, please. When it comes to Terminators, you've got a better shot of scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Raj: You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic. While you, on the other hand, are frail and pasty.

Raj: I have a thick accent. You don't know what I said.

Sheldon: That was ambiguous.
Raj: Well, now it's biguous.

Raj: Born in New Delhi, the third son of an itinerant gynaecologist, I showed early signs of genius. At age five, I discovered a celestial object which later turned out to be the moon.

Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.