Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 5 of 67

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Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: Go for Dr. K.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
Raj: Yes. Who is this?
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Raj: (stammers) Uh, wow. (chuckles) How fun is this Twitter thing, huh?
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: You think you're funny?
Raj: I'm not Seinfeld funny, but I did an open mic night once.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: You're not funny.
Raj: Yeah, that's what they said at the Chuckle Hut.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: How about this, I've got a book signing at Vroman's in Pasadena next week. Why don't you come by and say some of those things to my face?
Raj: (chuckles) Oh, no, but thanks for the invite.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone, remember, I'm the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system.
Raj: And it deserved it, sir. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: Hang on, I'm checking to see if Neil replied to my latest smackdown.
Bernadette: Really? Don't you think this Twitter feud is a little silly?
Raj: Absolutely not. It's two respected scientists debating opposing views in a public forum.
Howard: You called him Mike Tyson's little sister.
Raj: Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's mad at me, too.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Bernadette: What'd he say?
Raj: "Nice try, genius. The skin is epithelial tissue." Oh, it's on. He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: (clears throat) "Dear Dr. Tyson, "much like epithelial tissue, it appears I've gotten under your skin." iPhone drop, but I won't 'cause I don't have AppleCare.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, you're better than this.
Raj: Oh, leave room for dessert 'cause I'm gonna make you eat those words.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Bernadette: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Why? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good Twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new, uh, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. "I've been informed that some random, attention-seeking nobody took a cheap shot at me on the local news." That's me. Guys, he's talking about me!

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sunny Morrow: Oh, you know, I'm told we are out of time, (chuckles) having learned nothing about meteor showers and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
Raj: Thank you.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sunny Morrow: Sounds like there's no love lost between you and Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right?

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sunny Morrow: And with us today to talk about the upcoming meteor shower and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Thank you for being here.
Raj: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
Sunny Morrow: (laughs) Yeah.
Raj: What do you mean, "yeah"?
Sunny Morrow: Not important. So, what can we expect to see from this meteor shower?
Raj: Well, I think you can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Bernadette: So, what should we do? Should someone go check it out?
Raj: I would, but I got to be on TV tomorrow. Got to protect the money.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Georgie: Where's Mom?
Raj: Uh, she wanted to stop by the hotel and freshen up, and then call her pastor to pray for Missy's soul.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mary: Her husband would be here, but he stayed home to watch their older son, so e-everything's fine!
Missy: Stop it. We're separated.
Raj: You don't say?

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Jenna: You might not want to get too close. Pink eye.
Raj: Me, too! Bacterial?
Jenna: Yeah.
Raj: Same! (laughs) I-I know this is gonna sound crazy, but would you be interested in going to a wedding with me?

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Amy: Hey, whatever kind of pink eye their kids have, I have, and I need to know. And if it's viral, I'm screwed.
Howard: Maybe not. You know, I know it's not traditional wedding attire, but how about a welder's mask?
Raj: If you know a welder, that could be your "something borrowed".

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