Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 50 of 54

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Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Raj: Uh, Lucy's coming over. I need some advice.
Howard: However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
Raj: Just tell me which one you think is more manly. This hockey jersey or this football jersey.
Howard: I don't know. Go with hockey.
Raj: Good, black is more slimming. Oh, that's her. I got to go be butch. Toodles.

Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation

Raj: (fanning himself) Oh, this heat is brutal!
Sheldon: As someone from the tropical sub-continent of India, you should know that fanning yourself in a humid environment only raises your body temperature.
Raj: Huh. That does explain why the servants used to look so hot while they were fanning me.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Raj: Oh, my goodness, look at this room! Champagne! Roses! Oh and little chocolates! This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever.
Leonard: Yeah, I forgot about all this.
Raj: But I never will.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Ruchi: Arre uske taang pay ball kar!
Howard: What'd she say?
Raj: Uske taang pay ball kar.
Howard: Oh, that clears that up.
Raj: Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
Ruchi: I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
Raj: Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence!
Ruchi: Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so-
Raj: Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, there's, like, 120,000 people.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Raj: I had three model rockets as a kid, and that was the largest space program in India.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: (into the camera) Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. This next part may contain some adult language.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Could never bring myself to open it without him. It's silly.
Sheldon: No, it's not silly. I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, but he wasn't interested.
Raj: Ah, yes, disappointing fathers. Tell me about it. I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes. He had barely handed me the keys before he had to rush back to work. I didn't see him again till, like, pretty late that night.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: I think back to all the good times we had, like, uh, when we went camping and spent that night telling each other all our secrets. I told him I'm addicted to pedicures and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.
Howard: She was my second cousin.
Sheldon: And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Ba-da-bazinga!
Raj: Oh, oh, yeah, and then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish and that she wanted his little kosher pickle. Of all the Howard humping hookers stories, that one's my favorite!

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Raj: Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because, as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars, so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope. Screw you. My pain is real.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Raj: You're not only our first astronaut, you're also the first one of us to kick a girl out of bed. You're like a rockstar.
Howard: Little bit.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Raj: What are you doing here?!
Stuart: What are you doing here?!
Raj: Maybe Howard and Bernadette said I could be here!
Stuart: Did they?
Raj: Answer the question! What are you doing here?!

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I can walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Three-way.
Howard: Bernadette, listen...
Bernadette: You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!
Raj: Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Raj: (Outside, in a sing-song voice) Hello! Howard and Bernadette kicked me out because I told them they're having a girl! Oopsy, I did it again.
Penny: Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away.
Raj: (sing-songy) You're gonna have to be quieter than that.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Howard: I wish we looked as cool dancing in the clubs as we do right now.
Leonard: Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs.
Raj: You're welcome, ladies.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Bernadette: Wow, you're really good at this.
Raj: Oh, please. This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes.
Bernadette: Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs?
Raj: (unconvincingly) Yeah, that.

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