Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 52 of 57

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Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: Hey, did I say something to upset you?
Howard: No, I'm fine.
Raj: Really? Because usually we walk side by side, and I just went up two flights of stairs staring at your bottom.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
Leonard: No, no, no, would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it.
Raj: How hard did she stomp?
Leonard: Very hard.
Raj: Okay, I'm good.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Howard: You're not in love with Penny.
Raj: Yes, I am. The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.
Howard: Who?
Raj: He's the Hindu version of Cupid, but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're jealous of me.
Howard: Oh, please. What could you possibly have that I would be jealous of?
Raj: It's not what I have, it's how many people I'm having it with.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Yeah, well, Raj, I just want to say that I'd never betray your trust. Unlike Leonard, I respect you.
Leonard: Really?
Howard: Mmm.
Leonard: Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
Raj: Dude! I put that thing on my face!

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Leonard: Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you. A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiancee.
Howard: I'm sorry. What?
Raj: Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.
Leonard: Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.
Raj: That could have been about anyone. Besides, you have nothing to worry about, because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women, Sir Elton John.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Raj: Hello, sorry I'm late. But I was in the hallway, chatting up Penny.
Howard: Really? You? Rajesh Koothrapali, spoke to Penny?
Raj: Actually, I was less the chatter than the chattee.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: Okay, I'd pick swan because the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having.
Sheldon: Wrong.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Howard: I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night. I had a date with Bernadette.
Raj: I know. I saw the tweet.
Howard: So, what did you end up doing?
Raj: Not much. Nuked a burrito. Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen and your penis would droop like a willow tree.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: Bert has a room for rent.
Bernadette: So you're gonna be roommates with Bert?
Raj: Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, it's over his garage. So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in, does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Raj: Uh, Lucy's coming over. I need some advice.
Howard: However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
Raj: Just tell me which one you think is more manly. This hockey jersey or this football jersey.
Howard: I don't know. Go with hockey.
Raj: Good, black is more slimming. Oh, that's her. I got to go be butch. Toodles.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Raj: After we got undressed and jumped in bed, you, you asked if I had protection.
Penny: Oh, you did, didn't you?
Raj: Of course. I'm always packing. Anyway, um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and, that was all she wrote.
Penny: So, we didn't actually
Raj: I did. It was beautiful.

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