Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 52 of 65

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Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Raj: Oh Leonard, you remind me of the funny old story of the man who walks into a Women's Correctional Facility with a stack of paperwork that would allow the female convicts to go free.
Leonard: You're saying I couldn't get laid in woman's prison with a handful of pardons.
Raj: Are you going to let me tell the story or not?

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: (Cell phone rings) Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette. I assigned her her own ringtone, Bernadette by The Four Tops. Hello, Bernadette.
Raj: When I call him, his phone plays Brown Eyed Girl. Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.
Raj: Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: Hello. I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It's one of his best moves.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a super hero your name would be Captain Arrogant. And do you know what your super power would be? Arrogance.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: This is not over!

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: How did you even get it in here?
Raj: That's for me, Ramon, Julio, Jesus and Rodrigo to know and you to find out.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: Sorry, dude. The thermostat's on my side of the room, so it stays Mumbai hot in here until you turn off that stupid Indian music.
Sheldon: I'll turn off the music when you get rid of that salmonella-ridden parakeet.
Raj: Oh, too bad. Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds. Hey, look, Sheldon. Birdie, birdie, birdie.
Sheldon: That's it. Prepare for marshmallow death.
Raj: Eat flaming Nerf.

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Raj: I'm a lamb!

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Leonard: I'd suggest using some lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on that as well.
Howard: Not funny, Leonard.
Raj: Oh, come on, dude. A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk. It's funny. Ask anyone.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Howard's mom: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends.
Howard: That's great, mom. Thanks.
Howard's mom: I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch.
Howard: *startled* Don't come up here!
Howard's mom: Why not? Are you ashamed of your mother?
Howard: Yes, but that's not the point. Get me out of here!
Leonard: Do you have any ideas, Raj?
Raj: Right now all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Raj: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Raj: The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

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