Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 53 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: Bert has a room for rent.
Bernadette: So you're gonna be roommates with Bert?
Raj: Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, it's over his garage. So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in, does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Ramona Nowitzki: No, my work doesn't leave me a lot of time for relationships.
Raj: I think you made that very clear.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: We're being ridiculous. There's no way a woman that attractive is trying to seduce Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: You done trying to make yourself feel better?
Raj: No. I haven't played the race card yet.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Jimmy Speckerman: Okay. What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching, Annie.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Sheldon: The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
Raj: That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: You know who I blame for my loneliness? The United States of America. Your movies and your TV shows promised streets paved with beautiful blond women with big bazongas.
Howard: Eat another pie, youll have your own bazongas.
Raj: That's cruel. You know it goes straight to my hips.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Howard: She says it's nice to meet you.
Raj: Does she really mean that or was she signing it sarcastically?

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: Okay, as soon as she gets here, so she knows I'm cool with it, I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf. I was thinking, hey, did you hear the one about..? Oh, no, I bet you didn't.
Howard: Maybe we should revisit your lonely fat guy plan.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: Tell her, her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens.
Howard: Really? That's the first thing you want to say?
Raj: I worked on it all night. Use it.
Howard: Look, I don't know the sign for opalescent.
Raj: Then spell it.
Howard: I don't know how to spell it.
Raj: You're blowing this for me!

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Howard: He likes your eyes.
Raj: You're making me sound like a caveman.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: Let's see, what else can I tell you about me that would make you like me? Ooh, I love music. Do you love music?
Howard: You really want to ask her that?
Raj: You're right. Everyone loves music.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Howard: She says, do you play an instrument?
Raj: No, but when I was six years old, I tried to start a boy band called Frankie Goes to Bollywood. But I couldn't get any other boys to join, so my parents asked the servants to be my backup dancers. Wait, when you sign servants, don't sign it like I'm bragging. Sign it in a way that I sound humble with just a hint of, that's right, I had servants.
Howard: Do you hear yourself?
Raj: Yes, but she doesn't. So get signing, hand monkey.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Penny: Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make you feel better.
Raj: Seriously? I'm heartbroken and you’re hitting on me?
Penny: What? No!
Raj: Look, Penny, you're great, but I had a long talk with my parents, and they said if I date an Indian girl, I get a Maserati.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Raj: Okay, that's a lot of money. The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical. Like a jet ski.
Howard: Why do you want a jet ski?
Raj: All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis. That can't just be a coincidence.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: There are six seasons, dude.
Leonard: Oh, crap!
Raj: No, no, no, the sixth season is great. We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken, and then Mr. Big shows up, we don't know if we can trust him again. It's a wild ride.

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