Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 53 of 54

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Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I really appreciate the thought, but it's not necessary. I'll be back soon.
Ruchi: Don't worry about work. You take all the time you need.
Raj: Yeah, just turn off your brain and let your uterus do its magic. It's the star of the show now.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Everything okay?
Bernadette: Yeah, there's just something I need to ask you.
Raj: (gasps) Oh, Bernie, I'd be thrilled.
Bernadette: It's not be my birth coach.
Raj: Okay, that hurts, but luckily I know how to breathe through it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I need you to find out if Ruchi's trying to steal my projects at work while I'm on bed rest.
Raj: She's not that kind of a person. She's-she's generous and charitable.
Bernadette: You're just saying that 'cause she's sleeping with you.
Raj: Yes, that's my favorite charity.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I know I sound paranoid, but I'm feeling really vulnerable. If there's anything you could find out, it'd be great.
Raj: And if she is up to anything, what are you gonna do?
Bernadette: Nothing. I'll just calmly talk to her and explain there are certain boundaries that need to be respected. It's really for the benefit of everyone at the company.
Raj: Uh, okay, what you're saying sounds nice, but the way you're saying it is causing my testicles to take cover in my abdomen.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Ah, that was fun. Put her there, buddy.
Ruchi: I am not fist bumping you after we have sex.
Raj: You're the one who wanted to keep things casual.
Ruchi: There's a difference between casual and weird.
Raj: Not the way I do it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: So it turns out Ruchi is totally trying to take over Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Wow, she just told you that out of the blue?
Raj: Yeah, yeah, we had just made love. It was so beautiful. Our caramel-colored bodies were entwined like erotic taffy-
Penny: Get to the point!

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Uh, sorry, uh, yeah. I asked her about work, and she just admitted she has her eyes on Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Can't believe she would take advantage of a pregnant lady like that. So what did you do?
Raj: What do you think I did? I made small talk for 20 minutes and had sex again.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Penny: You have to say something to Bernie.
Raj: I don't know. If I do that, she's gonna confront Ruchi, and then Ruchi's gonna stop sleeping with me.
Penny: Raj, you can't go on sleeping with a woman who's trying to screw over your friend.
Raj: Can't or must?

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: I want you to know, I did what you asked. I talked to Ruchi and found out what's going on at work.
Bernadette: So is she trying to steal my projects?
Raj: No, not trying to, sounds like it's a done deal. Here, have a brownie.
Bernadette: I'm gonna kill her.
Raj: Okay, don't take this out on Ruchi. Is she trying to take your job? Yes. Is she parking in your space? Yes.
Did she get a laugh at a meeting yesterday by calling you "Pregnadette"? Big one. But you would've done the exact same thing, and you know it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: All I'm saying is before you attack Ruchi, maybe you should take a long hard look in the mirror, because you know what you'll see, apart from radiant skin and luxuriously thick hair? Hypocrisy!
Bernadette: It is thick.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Ruchi: Can I ask you a question? Mm? Does a drug still count as an antidepressant if its number one side effect is uncontrollable weeping?
Raj: I don't know. I always feel better after a good cry.

Quote from the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Raj: Groundbreaking revelations, tropical drinks. Tell me this isn't like the best episode of Sex and the City.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: Hey, what's it like sharing a bathroom with Penny? Is there hair everywhere? Does she use your loofah?
Penny: I don't have a loofah.
Raj: Okay, well, if I move in, you can't use mine.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Raj: Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't.
Amy: I thought you were taking a break from women to focus on your career.
Raj: Oh, grow up.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Bernadette: Are we being silly not finding out the sex?
Howard: Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing.
Raj: If you want, you can find out right now.
Bernadette: Hmm. The doctor's gone for the day, so it doesn't matter.
Raj: Or somebody else knows because they saw it in the folder.
Bernadette: You looked in our folder?!
Raj: It was an accident. The doctor left the folder out on her desk. It's not my fault I opened it and looked.

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