Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 53 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Nell: Morning.
Raj: Good morning.
Nell: Aw, you didn't have to cook me breakfast. Well, I wasn't sure how I did last night, and I wanted to finish strong.
Nell: You don't need to worry. Last night was great.
Raj: Ah, well, you say that now, but wait until you taste this.
Nell: Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Raj: Which is why I keep an omelet pan in the trunk of my car.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Nell: My husband never cooked for me.
Raj: Oh, uh, y-you were married.
Nell: Yeah. Well, technically, I guess I still am.
Raj: Is that "technically," like, the paperwork hasn't gone through, or "technically," like, he's in the closet watching us right now?

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: Yeah, do you mind me asking what he does for a living?
Nell: He's a firefighter.
Raj: Oh. Interesting. A potentially jealous man who's handy with an ax. It's-it's okay, though. He's almost had two weeks to cool down.

Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Raj: Born in New Delhi, the third son of an itinerant gynaecologist, I showed early signs of genius. At age five, I discovered a celestial object which later turned out to be the moon.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Leonard: You do realize you own his ass right now.
Howard: I do.
Raj: You can make him do anything you want.
Howard: Yeah, I know, I'm just trying to figure out how much I want to punish him.
Raj: Well, don't be too mean.
Sheldon: Hey, fellas, I'm thinking about making some freshly brewed iced tea if anyone would like some.
Raj: I wouldn't mind a glass.
Sheldon: I wasn't talking to you.
Raj: Bring him to his bony knees.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Yeah, well I do. And when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot. I'll have a screwdriver, please. Don't be chintzy with the screw.

Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Raj: It's very simple. For breakfast, she has an egg-white frittata. Feel free to give her a choice of home fries or an English muffin, but not both. We're watching our weight. Uh, for dinner, something simple, a veal chop, some scampi, whatever you like.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Raj: Okay, let's check out the females.
Sheldon: All right. There's a female.
Raj: That's Professor Wilkinson's wife. She's like 80 years old.
Sheldon: But she's female. Isn't that the game?
Raj: No. I'm looking for a hookup.
Sheldon: Oh, yes. So, the point of this exercise is for you to find someone to copulate with?
Raj: Not so loud, but ideally, yes. Thanks.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Howard: Listen to me, if she's writing about your relationship, use it to your advantage. Rig the game.
Raj: Well, that doesn't seem fair.
Howard: Is it fair that girls like confident, normal guys more than nervous weirdos?
Raj: No, it's not. I've always thought that was unfair.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Sheldon: Thank you. And what is my function as wingman?
Raj: You help me run my game.
Sheldon: Okay. What is your game?
Raj: When I lie through my teeth to a woman, you nod and agree.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Hey, I've got a girlfriend now.
Raj: Oh please. My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it.
Howard: Let's just agree theyre both hot.
Raj: Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Penny: All right. Hang on. We can figure this out. Let's just go over your expenses. How much is your rent?
Raj: I don't want to say.
Bernadette: Is it really that high?
Raj: I don't want to say because I don't know how much it is.
Penny: You don't how much your rent is?
Raj: My father pays for it! Do you know how much your rent is?!
Penny: Yeah.
Raj: Well, then double it, because my building's a lot nicer than this dump.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to LA, Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship, and to you, that neither of us would hit on her.
Raj: Did you pinky swear?
Howard: Yes.
Raj: Okay then.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Leonard: Do you know how much your car costs?
Raj: Not really.
Howard: Well, how much do you spend on food?
Raj: The housekeeper does the shopping.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you really are spoiled.
Raj: I'm spoiled?! Your baby has a cape that costs $300!

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: I can't believe you pulled this all together overnight.
Raj: Uh, if I had more time, I could have gotten the Blue Man Group. One of them goes to my dry cleaner. Who, by the way, hates him.

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