Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 54 of 59

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Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Howard: I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night. I had a date with Bernadette.
Raj: I know. I saw the tweet.
Howard: So, what did you end up doing?
Raj: Not much. Nuked a burrito. Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen and your penis would droop like a willow tree.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Oliver: Hey, buddy. I talked to Nell. She was pretty upset after you left.
Raj: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Oliver: No. No, no, no. She told me that you said something so creepy that I seemed great in comparison.
Raj: I know exactly what it was. No, actually, there was a couple of things it could've been. Whichever one it was, it was creepy.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Oliver: Anyway, uh, I went over to comfort her, and we talked, and I think we're gonna give it another chance.
Raj: I am so happy for you! Hey, uh, we should celebrate.
Oliver: House of Pies?
Raj: You know it.
Oliver: Should we invite Nell?
Raj: Do we have to?
Oliver: Nah.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: Bert has a room for rent.
Bernadette: So you're gonna be roommates with Bert?
Raj: Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, it's over his garage. So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in, does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Raj: Uh, Lucy's coming over. I need some advice.
Howard: However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
Raj: Just tell me which one you think is more manly. This hockey jersey or this football jersey.
Howard: I don't know. Go with hockey.
Raj: Good, black is more slimming. Oh, that's her. I got to go be butch. Toodles.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Raj: After we got undressed and jumped in bed, you, you asked if I had protection.
Penny: Oh, you did, didn't you?
Raj: Of course. I'm always packing. Anyway, um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and, that was all she wrote.
Penny: So, we didn't actually
Raj: I did. It was beautiful.

Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation

Raj: (fanning himself) Oh, this heat is brutal!
Sheldon: As someone from the tropical sub-continent of India, you should know that fanning yourself in a humid environment only raises your body temperature.
Raj: Huh. That does explain why the servants used to look so hot while they were fanning me.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Leonard: Hang on, Sheldon. How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
Howard: Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiancee.
Raj: Screw you. That was a beautifully written penis metaphor.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Raj: Oh, my goodness, look at this room! Champagne! Roses! Oh and little chocolates! This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever.
Leonard: Yeah, I forgot about all this.
Raj: But I never will.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Raj: I had three model rockets as a kid, and that was the largest space program in India.

Quote from the episode The Fish Guts Displacement

Raj: Can we change the subject? Spiders give me the jeebie-jeebies.
Howard: It's heebie-jeebies.
Raj: I know, but that sounds anti-Semitic.

Quote from the episode The Fish Guts Displacement

Raj: Anyway, I was thinking we could have a little film festival tonight. The theme, movies that killed their franchises.
Leonard: Oh. Like Jaws 4, Indiana Jones 4, Daredevil 1.
Raj: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. I mean, you know a movie's bad when my home-girl Sandy B can't save it.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: (into the camera) Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. This next part may contain some adult language.

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