Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 54 of 55

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Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: I'm going to be deported. Sent home in disgrace. Exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay or, as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Rajesh: Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim buck naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection, than work with you.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station. We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Raj: You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: Ooo, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
Leonard: I forget, which one is Hammer of the Gods?
Raj: We hide behind the Dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Leonard: How can 5 not be worse than 1?
Raj: Yeah, Star Trek 5 worse than 1.
Sheldon: Okay, first of all that is a comparison of quality not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek 1 is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek 5.
Raj: Are you joking? Star Trek 5 is the standard against which all badness is measured.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father I both love and fear it.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: Ooh, more details about the new Star Trek film! There is going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Rajesh: Die, Toaster, Die!

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

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