Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 55 of 67

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Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Leonard: I'm not going out tonight, Raj.
Raj: All right. Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography?
Leonard: Very much.
Raj: Doesn't have to be Asian.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: Ah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy in the life of the party ... Oh yeah!

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Wolowitz: Okay, forget giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Leonard: Seriously? You have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss the possibility of giant ants?
Howard: What's with him?
Sheldon: Perhaps he's at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle.
Howard: Are you saying he's man-struating?
Sheldon: Not literally. But as far back as the 17th century, scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels.
Raj: Interesting. That might explain my weepy days in the middle of the month. You know what I'm talking about.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Howard: Leonard, where do you stand on giant rabbits and scrotal position?
Leonard: I honestly don't care.
Raj: Really? Because every time we've talked about unusual animal genitals, you've always had some pretty strong and controversial opinions.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Howard: What'd you do, Romeo? You pour maple syrup all over your body and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack?
Raj: Did you think it would be funny to put on a pair of her panties and jump around, but it wound up just creeping her out?
Leonard: What? No.
Raj: I'm just asking, dude. It happens.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Howard: Did you ask her to start waxing?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Did you start waxing?
Leonard: No.
Howard: While making love, did you accidentally spank your own ass and cry out Mommy?
Leonard: I'm walking away from you now.
Howard: That wasn't a no.
Raj: Yeah, I think we're getting close.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Howard: Did you take a Benadryl and fall asleep while pleasuring her? Because you can die that way.
Raj: Oh, that would be a good way to go.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Raj: These methods of meditation come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me overcome my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet, you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to it I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Rajesh:So in Avatar, they have sex on Pandora by linking their ponytails. So their ponytails...are like their junk.
Wolowitz:Yeah, so?
Rajesh: Well when they ride the horses and birds they link their ponytails, too.
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Rajesh: My point is, if I were a horse or a bird I'd be really nervous around James Cameron.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: One ring to rule them all.
Rajesh: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Rajesh: Holy crap are we nerdy!

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Raj: Okay, that's a lot of money. The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical. Like a jet ski.
Howard: Why do you want a jet ski?
Raj: All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis. That can't just be a coincidence.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: There are six seasons, dude.
Leonard: Oh, crap!
Raj: No, no, no, the sixth season is great. We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken, and then Mr. Big shows up, we don't know if we can trust him again. It's a wild ride.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Raj: I think it's lovely you call your mommy and let her know you're going to be late for dinner. From what I know about these things, if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time, it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.
Howard: Don't you talk about my mother’s boobies!
Raj: If you're offended, let go of the ring and go on home to your mother's boobies.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

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