Raj: Yeah, okay, so, zombies.
Leonard: I guess it depends on the zombies, Raj. Are we talking slow zombies, fast zombies? Like, in 28 Days, if those zombies didn't eat, they starved.
Howard: You're thinking of 28 Days Later. 28 Days is where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab and puts the audience into an un-dead state
Raj: Hey, don't bag on Sandra Bullock! You think it makes you look cultured, but you just come off as bitter.

Leonard: On the bright side, I don't think President Siebert will be making us go to any more fund-raisers.
Howard: It was so much easier at my bar mitzvah. The old people just came up to you, pinched your cheek and handed you a savings bond.
Raj: Oh, don't be such gloomy gusses. Look at the size of these shrimp! At what point do we start calling them lobsters?

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle.

Raj: And just for the record, labradoodles are hypo-allergenic, which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander.

Raj: These mimosas are kicking my little brown ass!

Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: Id like to weigh in here: No.

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions, but there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Raj: I think we should take a picture to capture this moment.
Leonard: Yeah! (Fart noise)
Raj: Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent, or what!

Raj: You know, if I made more money, I could take time off from work and give pretty girls submarine rides.
Howard: What's that? Some weird sex thing?
Raj: No. You take pretty girls underwater in your private submarine, and you show them fish. Why does everything have to be dirty with you?

Howard: Okay, let's try this one. Spherical Hankel function.
Leonard: Hold on. That's it!
Howard: Eureka!
Raj: Hey, we agreed when it was Eureka time, we were all gonna say it together.
Howard: Fine. Let's say it together.
Raj: No. The moment has passed.

Raj: Hey, look at this. Twenty people from the university have already signed up for our private beta.
Leonard: I'm telling you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need. We've got a hit.
Raj: What do you think we should sell it for?
Howard: Well, based on the fact that our potential market is about seventy or eighty guys, and you want a submarine, I'd say about a million dollars a pop.
Raj: Well, what if we put out a lite version for half a million? You know, get the word of mouth going.