Raj: Oh sure. I sit on the floor for years and no one cares. The pretty white girl's there ten seconds and suddenly we're all running to IKEA.

Raj: I'll point out her name's Yvette and that she's a vet. That's hysterical! She'll love it.

Raj: Cinnamon, she gave me her phone number! If I'd known it was that easy, I'd have considered poisoning you months ago.

Raj: Oh my God, Cinnamon, are you okay? I can't believe you two (Leonard & Penny). (To the vet) You do whatever it takes to save her life. If she needs any new organs I'll buy any dog necessary and scrap them for parts!

Yvette: You're the owner?
Raj: Owner. Father. Soul mate. And, if anything happens to her, your (Leonard & Penny) worst nightmare!

Raj: Aw, I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Sheldon: Every year, I told you wear a diaper.
Raj: I told you I get diaper rash!

Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring?

Howard: You know if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert. It's totally okay.
Amy: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj: Are you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. That sounds like your type.

Amy: (To Raj) Should somebody as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
Raj: Yeah, grow up, Howard! God.

Raj: And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
Amy: (To Raj) I'm sorry, who are you dating?
Raj: Yeah, knock it off, Howard.

Howard: What's your part?
Penny: I play a customer in a diner and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
Raj: Ooh, Mark Harmon. He's a dreamboat.

Bernadette: So how come you two (Leonard & Raj) didn't move in together?
Leonard: This guy wanted a place of his own because he was sure he was going to be a ladies' man.
Raj: Yeah, I was wrong.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an email. "Happy Holidays from Texas", and there's pictures. *Looks at his phone* Aww, do not open them. Do not open them!
Penny: Oh come on, childbirth is a natural, beautiful - Urgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
Raj: My father is a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. *Looks at his phone* And ... now I'm gay.

Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: Yeah, you didn't need to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Raj: There's also a time to stop eating so many jelly beans. And it's when you're ten!