Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 58 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Before I forget, I'd like your opinion on the menus I've prepared for the Halloween party. The theme is "Food That Goes Bump in the Night".
Howard: "Creature from the Black Forest Ham Lagoon".
Raj: On sesame seed bunzillas.
Sheldon: "Night of the Living Garlic Bread"?
Raj: It's funny because bread sounds like dead.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but these are just ordinary foods with the names bent into tortured puns. The dishes themselves are in no way Halloweeny.
Raj: Ooh, Hallo-weenies! That's a good one. They'll pair nicely with my "Draculoni and Cheese". How do I do it?

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bull-whip and fedora?
Howard: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Raj: I was thinking of dressing up as Indiana Jones' mocha-skinned love child, Indian Jones.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Hey, I've got a girlfriend now.
Raj: Oh please. My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it.
Howard: Let's just agree theyre both hot.
Raj: Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to LA, Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship, and to you, that neither of us would hit on her.
Raj: Did you pinky swear?
Howard: Yes.
Raj: Okay then.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
Leonard: No, no, no, would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it.
Raj: How hard did she stomp?
Leonard: Very hard.
Raj: Okay, I'm good.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: Yeah, well, Raj, I just want to say that I'd never betray your trust. Unlike Leonard, I respect you.
Leonard: Really?
Howard: Mmm.
Leonard: Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
Raj: Dude! I put that thing on my face!

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Good morning! Scones?
Stuart: Ah, thanks.
Raj: They're all for you; I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.
Howard: You're kidding. You slept with her?
Raj: Well, there wasn't a lot of sleeping involved. I mean, she slept, I stayed awake. I was afraid of snoring 'cause I didn't have my special pillow.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: What is there to get? She doesn't want to fall in love. At that point, all we are is two single people who find each other attractive and enjoy having-- Oh, got to go!

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Everything okay?
Bernadette: Yeah, there's just something I need to ask you.
Raj: (gasps) Oh, Bernie, I'd be thrilled.
Bernadette: It's not be my birth coach.
Raj: Okay, that hurts, but luckily I know how to breathe through it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I know I sound paranoid, but I'm feeling really vulnerable. If there's anything you could find out, it'd be great.
Raj: And if she is up to anything, what are you gonna do?
Bernadette: Nothing. I'll just calmly talk to her and explain there are certain boundaries that need to be respected. It's really for the benefit of everyone at the company.
Raj: Uh, okay, what you're saying sounds nice, but the way you're saying it is causing my testicles to take cover in my abdomen.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Raj: Hey, I need some fashion advice.
Amy: Really? From me? I would love to-
Raj: Actually, Leonard told me Penny was over here...

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Penny: I'm so sorry the interview didn't go well.
Leonard: Yeah, you would've been perfect for it.
Raj: Oh, I just get so nervous, and then I start apologizing for being nervous, and- You guys don't want to hear about this. I'm sorry.
Penny: Stop apologizing!
Raj: Oh, my God! You sound just like the woman at the interview!

Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Raj: It's very simple. For breakfast, she has an egg-white frittata. Feel free to give her a choice of home fries or an English muffin, but not both. We're watching our weight. Uh, for dinner, something simple, a veal chop, some scampi, whatever you like.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.

Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Howard: (Skype tone) It's Raj. Stay quiet. Hey, bad timing. Bernadette just took Cinnamon out for a walk.
Raj: Hmm. Interesting. Did they take a walk down Liars' Lane?
Howard: What?
Raj: A lane frequented by liars. Like you, you big liar.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Howard: You're not in love with Penny.
Raj: Yes, I am. The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.
Howard: Who?
Raj: He's the Hindu version of Cupid, but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.

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