Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 6 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: Are you worried?
Raj: I am not worried. If anything, I'm overconfident. Edging into smug.
Anu: I'm sure it's gonna be fine.
Raj: Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. Trust me, I've had no complaints.
Anu: Good to know.
Raj: Well, I've had questions, comments, some constructive criticism, (snorts): but no complaints.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: It doesn't have to be tonight. How about this weekend? I can get us a room at my hotel.
Raj: Okay. Sounds nice. We can order a bunch of room service, because I'm not eating anything between now and then.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Raj: Oh, I am stuffed! I should not have eaten all those dumplings.
Anu: I think we should have sex.
Raj: Me, too.
Anu: Yeah, it's just, we haven't done it yet, and I think it's important to make sure we're compatible before we get married.
Raj: I totally agree. Oh, just one question. While we're doing it, can I leave my shirt on? You know, the dumplings, pretty salty.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Sheldon: Can I feed peanuts to the elephants at your wedding?
Raj: That is such a stereotype!
Sheldon: There won't be any elephants?
Raj: Of course there'll be elephants. It's a stereotype that you feed them peanuts.

Quote from the episode The Grant Allocation Derivation

Raj: Thanks for letting me come over and hang.
Howard: So Leonard still hasn't made a decision yet?
Raj: No. And I've really been laying on the guilt.
Howard: Did you break out the sad eyes?
Raj: You mean these bad boys?

Quote from the episode The Grant Allocation Derivation

Leonard: Well, Siebert put me in charge of handing out the last bit of the administrative funds, and I have sole discretion.
Raj: Ooh! Looks like Christmas came early. First thing on my list is a golden umbrella, 'cause Leonard's gonna make it rain!

Quote from the episode The Grant Allocation Derivation

Bernadette: Hey, Howie, can you give me a hand? I need to get some work done, and the kids are climbing all over me.
Raj: You know what? I'll watch them.
Bernadette: You sure?
Sheldon: But I was just about to tell everyone why they're called Pennsylvania Dutch when they really hail from Germany.
Raj: Yep.

Quote from the episode The Grant Allocation Derivation

Raj: Oh, this is amazing. I wish I had a playhouse like this when I was a kid.
Penny: Really? You never had a playhouse?
Raj: No. I mean, my dad did buy the house next door for us to play in.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Leonard: Sheldon, he's being you. He's dressed as you for Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. So you're not laughing at him. You're laughing at me.
Raj: We're not laughing at you. We're laughing with you.
Sheldon: But I'm not laughing.
Raj: Then the first one.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Howard: You're sitting in my spot.
Sheldon: You don't have a spot. What is wrong with you today?
Raj: Maybe he's cranky because he's off his bathroom schedule.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Leonard: Are you gonna dress in drag in front of your fiancee?
Raj: Yeah. We have no secrets from each other. Well, except for the fact that I crocheted this myself.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: Oh, Inspector Gadget. And I want to say Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Raj: So close. Kooth Bader Ginsburg. The Notorious KBG.
Sheldon: That's very clever.
Raj: [striking a gavel] Sustained.

Quote from the episode The Planetarium Collision

Howard: Thank you, Raj, that was a really nice introduction.
Raj: Well, it's from my heart. So, Howard, you are in an elite group. Only 232 people have ever been on the International Space Station. How does that make you feel?
Howard: Honestly, lucky. Most astronauts have to train their whole lives. I was just in the right place at the right time.
Raj: Oh, please, luck had nothing to do with it. You people need to know how impressive this man is. He was up there because he's the only one qualified to install a piece of equipment that he designed.
Howard: Thanks, but if you want to talk impressive, this guy right here discovered a planetary object outside the Kuiper belt.
Raj: He worked on the Mars rover.
Howard: He helped launch the New Horizons space probe.
Raj: He went to space on a Russian rocket.
Howard: And I was scared the whole time.
Raj: And I was scared for you, but also proud.
Howard: Wow. I don't think you've ever said that to me before.
Raj: I should have, and I'm gonna say it again. I'm proud of you. You're my best friend, and I love you.
Howard: Aw, Raj, I love you, too.
Bernadette: What is happening?
Raj: Bring it in, spaceman, you've been cleared for landing.

Quote from the episode The Planetarium Collision

Raj: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: I brought Chinese.
Penny: Oh, that's a nice surprise. What's the occasion?
Raj: Please, I don't need a reason to bring food to my friends.
Leonard: But you have one, don't you?
Raj: Yeah, I need your help.

Quote from the episode The Planetarium Collision

Howard: Listen, I understand you being intimidated, but I can't help that I'm proud of being an astronaut. It's a big deal.
Raj: Oh, it certainly is, but I also happen to be very accomplished in my field.
Howard: Great. So you have no reason to be scared of sharing the spotlight.
Raj: Please. I may be scared of heights and spiders and showing up at a costume party that turns out to be a regular party, but I am not scared of sharing the spotlight with you! [Raj walks out, and then reappears]
Howard: What's happening?
Raj: I just stormed out for dramatic effect. I- Actually, I don't have anywhere to go.

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