Raj: You think your thoughts are pure gold, but let me tell you something they are pure caca.

Raj: Ha-ha! Eat my dust, racially stereotypical plumber.
Sheldon: That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Raj: And a cow, and a penguin. Face it dude, whether it's a real car or a virtual car, you can't drive.
Sheldon: Just need a little more practice.
Raj: What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a genie who grants wishes to little boys who sucks at MarioKart.

Raj: We are from the Lollipop guild and we want you!

Sheldon: What do you want?
Raj: We represent the Lollipop Guild and we want you!

Leonard: What if you could make Kripke look even sillier than he made you look?
Raj: I don't think that's possible, dude.
Leonard: You're not helping.
Raj: I didn't come here to help, I came here to mock.

Raj: I was on the radio, once. I called in to Fever 104 FM New Dehli and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: Fever 104 (speaking Hindi).
*The guys stare at Raj*
Raj: That means "Fever 104: Home of the really good current music."
Raj: It's much catchier in Hindi.

Leonard: You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it.
Raj: In fact, it's better if you don't. Otherwise, it makes the rest of us look bad.

Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'
Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first.

Wolowitz: You're such a douche
Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin!

Raj: I know they're poison, but they look like big, yummy otter pops.

Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits, they hate me and don't come. I'm embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.

Raj: Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that I had to cook chicken and rice with this vegan guy. You know what vegan chicken and rice is? It's rice!

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Raj: You mean like when a guy's upset because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him and then doesn't show up because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?
Howard: I didn't know you were upset about that.
Raj: Really! Did you miss all the subtle indicators, like me saying, "Howard, I am upset".
Howard: Okay, sorry.
Raj: Maybe it means something different in this country. Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard!