Leonard: Nothing flamed out. We don't have to have sex every night, you know.
Howard: You don't have to, but it's highly recommended.
Raj: Yeah, take advantage of that window of opportunity before it slams shut on your little dinky.

Howard: No, no, not this time. I know insects, my friend, I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets, putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels underneath, identifying the genus and species. In Latin.
Raj: Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess.

Sheldon: What was that?
Raj: My stomach. Indian food doesn't agree with me. Ironic, isn't it?

Jenna: You might not want to get too close. Pink eye.
Raj: Me, too! Bacterial?
Jenna: Yeah.
Raj: Same! (laughs) I-I know this is gonna sound crazy, but would you be interested in going to a wedding with me?

Mary: Her husband would be here, but he stayed home to watch their older son, so e-everything's fine!
Missy: Stop it. We're separated.
Raj: You don't say?

Bernadette: So, what should we do? Should someone go check it out?
Raj: I would, but I got to be on TV tomorrow. Got to protect the money.

Sunny Morrow: And with us today to talk about the upcoming meteor shower and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Thank you for being here.
Raj: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
Sunny Morrow: (laughs) Yeah.
Raj: What do you mean, "yeah"?
Sunny Morrow: Not important. So, what can we expect to see from this meteor shower?
Raj: Well, I think you can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Sunny Morrow: Sounds like there's no love lost between you and Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right?

Sunny Morrow: Oh, you know, I'm told we are out of time, (chuckles) having learned nothing about meteor showers and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
Raj: Thank you.

Raj: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. "I've been informed that some random, attention-seeking nobody took a cheap shot at me on the local news." That's me. Guys, he's talking about me!

Bernadette: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Why? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good Twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new, uh, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, you're better than this.
Raj: Oh, leave room for dessert 'cause I'm gonna make you eat those words.

Raj: (clears throat) "Dear Dr. Tyson, "much like epithelial tissue, it appears I've gotten under your skin." iPhone drop, but I won't 'cause I don't have AppleCare.

Bernadette: What'd he say?
Raj: "Nice try, genius. The skin is epithelial tissue." Oh, it's on. He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.

Raj: Hang on, I'm checking to see if Neil replied to my latest smackdown.
Bernadette: Really? Don't you think this Twitter feud is a little silly?
Raj: Absolutely not. It's two respected scientists debating opposing views in a public forum.
Howard: You called him Mike Tyson's little sister.
Raj: Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's mad at me, too.