Howard: What is wrong with Stuart's face?
Raj: I think he's smiling.

Howard: Oh, my God, are they flirting?
Raj: Oh, they're way past flirting. I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding.
Howard: Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?
Raj: I don't think so. When I used that much tongue at CPR training, I had to buy the dummy.

Stuart: Hey, Raj, will you, um, smell something for me?
Raj: Uh, that depends. Actually, it doesn't depend. Just no.

Raj: You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. I mean, me and Anu already know so much about each other.
Bernadette: Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer?
Raj: Uh, no, that's Annette. Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. We're going on our first date tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to see Annette.

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.

Howard: Hey. Mind if I sit?
Raj: Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake by having this blueberry muffin and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did?
Howard: No.
Raj: Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. Although that cinnamon roll does smell good if you're open to halfsies.

Anu: I told my parents our first date went well and they got very excited.
Raj: Oh, tell me about it. My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. So that was a disaster.

Raj: Oh, Howard, uh, this is Andrea. She's the director of the planetarium.
Andrea: Hi.
Howard: Nice to meet you. I'm Howard Wolowitz. Engineer, husband, father, astronaut.
Andrea: Really? You're an astronaut?
Howard: Well, I don't like to brag.
Raj: Hmm, yeah, but somehow, you manage.

Andrea: Raj, you should have Howard join you for one of your shows.
Howard: Oh, that might be fun.
Raj: It might be, but with two small children at home and a full-time job, I'm sure you're too busy.
Howard: No, I could find the time.
Raj: Well, you don't have to decide right now.
Howard: It's okay, I-
Raj: He can't do it.

Howard: I just want to let you know I get why you don't want me to be a part of the planetarium show.
Raj: Oh, great. Thanks for stopping by.
Howard: You don't want to talk about the stars next to an actual astronaut. That would be like doing karaoke with a rock star.
Raj: First of all, I've totally done karaoke with a rock star. Or are you forgetting when the Spin Doctors handed me the mic at the Orange County Fair?

Howard: Listen, I understand you being intimidated, but I can't help that I'm proud of being an astronaut. It's a big deal.
Raj: Oh, it certainly is, but I also happen to be very accomplished in my field.
Howard: Great. So you have no reason to be scared of sharing the spotlight.
Raj: Please. I may be scared of heights and spiders and showing up at a costume party that turns out to be a regular party, but I am not scared of sharing the spotlight with you! [Raj walks out, and then reappears]
Howard: What's happening?
Raj: I just stormed out for dramatic effect. I- Actually, I don't have anywhere to go.

Raj: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: I brought Chinese.
Penny: Oh, that's a nice surprise. What's the occasion?
Raj: Please, I don't need a reason to bring food to my friends.
Leonard: But you have one, don't you?
Raj: Yeah, I need your help.

Howard: Thank you, Raj, that was a really nice introduction.
Raj: Well, it's from my heart. So, Howard, you are in an elite group. Only 232 people have ever been on the International Space Station. How does that make you feel?
Howard: Honestly, lucky. Most astronauts have to train their whole lives. I was just in the right place at the right time.
Raj: Oh, please, luck had nothing to do with it. You people need to know how impressive this man is. He was up there because he's the only one qualified to install a piece of equipment that he designed.
Howard: Thanks, but if you want to talk impressive, this guy right here discovered a planetary object outside the Kuiper belt.
Raj: He worked on the Mars rover.
Howard: He helped launch the New Horizons space probe.
Raj: He went to space on a Russian rocket.
Howard: And I was scared the whole time.
Raj: And I was scared for you, but also proud.
Howard: Wow. I don't think you've ever said that to me before.
Raj: I should have, and I'm gonna say it again. I'm proud of you. You're my best friend, and I love you.
Howard: Aw, Raj, I love you, too.
Bernadette: What is happening?
Raj: Bring it in, spaceman, you've been cleared for landing.

Leonard: Are you gonna dress in drag in front of your fiancee?
Raj: Yeah. We have no secrets from each other. Well, except for the fact that I crocheted this myself.

Leonard: Sheldon, he's being you. He's dressed as you for Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. So you're not laughing at him. You're laughing at me.
Raj: We're not laughing at you. We're laughing with you.
Sheldon: But I'm not laughing.
Raj: Then the first one.