Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

Raj: Shut your ass!

Wolowitz: At least I can talk to women without being drunk.
Rajesh: Excuse me, I have selective mutism, a recognised medical disorder. You're just a douche.

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Raj: You heard me, I forbidded it.
Priya: Forbidded it?
Raj: Forbayded it?

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle.

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Leonard: Would you please take that stupid hat off?
Howard: No, I want to blend in.
Raj: To what? Toy Story?

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions, but there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?

Raj: It doesn't matter. They'll find a way to give me a one-way ticket back to Ghandiville. And by the way, when I say that it's not offensive.

Leonard: How'd it go last night?
Raj: Y'know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. Big whoop.

Leonard: Did you get to play with Rajesh's big Telescope last night?
*Rajesh and Wolowitz Freak out*
Wolowitz: Where did that come from?
Rajesh: He never touched my telescope.

Raj: Okay, just to be clear, roller skating was my idea, and I'm very unhappy that you turned it into a double date. I hope you both fall on your asses and break your coccyxes.
Sheldon: The plural of coccyx is coccyges.
Raj: Screw you. Give me back my lima beans.