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Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 67 of 69

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Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: Hold on. I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.
Sheldon: Can we trust him?
Raj: I should say so, he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: It doesn't have to be tonight. How about this weekend? I can get us a room at my hotel.
Raj: Okay. Sounds nice. We can order a bunch of room service, because I'm not eating anything between now and then.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: Are you worried?
Raj: I am not worried. If anything, I'm overconfident. Edging into smug.
Anu: I'm sure it's gonna be fine.
Raj: Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. Trust me, I've had no complaints.
Anu: Good to know.
Raj: Well, I've had questions, comments, some constructive criticism, (snorts): but no complaints.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: No, no, not this time. I know insects, my friend, I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets, putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels underneath, identifying the genus and species. In Latin.
Raj: Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Hey, look at this. Twenty people from the university have already signed up for our private beta.
Leonard: I'm telling you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need. We've got a hit.
Raj: What do you think we should sell it for?
Howard: Well, based on the fact that our potential market is about seventy or eighty guys, and you want a submarine, I'd say about a million dollars a pop.
Raj: Well, what if we put out a lite version for half a million? You know, get the word of mouth going.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: Would you look at this? I paid twenty five dollars to some kid on eBay for a handcrafted Harry Potter wand. He sent me a stick. He went into his backyard, he picked up a stick.
Howard: It's numbered.
Raj: Ooh, limited edition. Nice.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: What was that?
Raj: My stomach. Indian food doesn't agree with me. Ironic, isn't it?

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I really appreciate the thought, but it's not necessary. I'll be back soon.
Ruchi: Don't worry about work. You take all the time you need.
Raj: Yeah, just turn off your brain and let your uterus do its magic. It's the star of the show now.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: So it turns out Ruchi is totally trying to take over Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Wow, she just told you that out of the blue?
Raj: Yeah, yeah, we had just made love. It was so beautiful. Our caramel-colored bodies were entwined like erotic taffy-
Penny: Get to the point!

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Uh, sorry, uh, yeah. I asked her about work, and she just admitted she has her eyes on Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Can't believe she would take advantage of a pregnant lady like that. So what did you do?
Raj: What do you think I did? I made small talk for 20 minutes and had sex again.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Penny: You have to say something to Bernie.
Raj: I don't know. If I do that, she's gonna confront Ruchi, and then Ruchi's gonna stop sleeping with me.
Penny: Raj, you can't go on sleeping with a woman who's trying to screw over your friend.
Raj: Can't or must?

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Ruchi: Can I ask you a question? Mm? Does a drug still count as an antidepressant if its number one side effect is uncontrollable weeping?
Raj: I don't know. I always feel better after a good cry.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Raj: This is awkward. I was actually gonna return this.
Stuart: What's wrong with it?
Raj: I-I finished it.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Ruchi: I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India.
Raj: Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette want to talk about America, that's cool with us. Here, let me get you started. (In an American accent) Hamburgers, am I right?

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: We're being ridiculous. There's no way a woman that attractive is trying to seduce Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: You done trying to make yourself feel better?
Raj: No. I haven't played the race card yet.

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