Leonard: How can 5 not be worse than 1?
Raj: Yeah, Star Trek 5 worse than 1.
Sheldon: Okay, first of all that is a comparison of quality not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek 1 is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek 5.
Raj: Are you joking? Star Trek 5 is the standard against which all badness is measured.

Sheldon: Oh look, Saturn 3 is on.
Raj: I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better.
Sheldon: How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you its six better.

Sheldon: Will you at least stipulate that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is inarguably the best?
Raj: I have 3 words for you: Wrath of Khan.

Raj: Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.

Raj: Welcome to the Raj Majal.

Raj: Boy, I bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap!

Raj: So, Saturday night. Can I count on my posse?
Howard: Jeez, I'd love to Raj but I can't make it.
Raj: Ah, okay, Leonard?
Leonard: Oh, ah, oh, I can ... no.
Raj: Sheldon?
Sheldon: I can make it but I won't.

Raj: Hey, buddy, I'm gonna be in People Magazine.
Charlie Sheen: Yeah, call me when you're on the cover.

Raj: I know, I am resplendent like the noonday sun, am I not?

Raj: It's not part of my heart-warming and personal narrative, in which a humble boy from New Delhi overcame poverty and prejudice and journeyed to America to reach for the stars.
Howard: Poverty? Your father's a gynaecologist. He drives a Bentley.
Raj: It's a lease.

Raj: God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Leonard: You just got him this afternoon.
Raj: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
Leonard: A lackey?
Raj: Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables.

Leonard: She's gotten really hooked on Age of Conan, she's playing non-stop.
Raj: Ah, yes, online gaming addiction. There's nothing worse than having that multi-player monkey on your back.

Raj: What happens in costume at comic-con stays at comic-com.
Howard: You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
Leonard: What happened to you?
Raj: Nothing happened to me.
Howard: It wasn't your fault, Raj, he was dressed like a green Orion slave girl.
Raj: How did we get on me, we were mocking Leonard for not moving on, dude, you have totally not moved on.

Howard: Go get yourself some rebound stress release.
Raj: Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
Howard: You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
Raj: I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it. And he told me his name was Kimberly.

Raj: They don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate. Sadly, that's my homerun swing.