Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 68 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Howard: Did you take a Benadryl and fall asleep while pleasuring her? Because you can die that way.
Raj: Oh, that would be a good way to go.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Howard: Why is your screen name "JohnWilliams"?
Raj: Uh, because I always score.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Howard: Okay, let's try this one. Spherical Hankel function.
Leonard: Hold on. That's it!
Howard: Eureka!
Raj: Hey, we agreed when it was Eureka time, we were all gonna say it together.
Howard: Fine. Let's say it together.
Raj: No. The moment has passed.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Howard: Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment.
Raj: There was.
Howard: There wasn't. But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it?
Raj: I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed, hungry for the pleasure only I can give her.
Howard: So nothing.
Raj: No, not a thing.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: Hey, look, there's Rothman's empty office. Sad.
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Mm, indeed.
Howard: So sad.
Sheldon: Dibs.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Raj: Oh, that's plenty to go on. We can't give up. We got to find her.
Bernadette: You just want to find her 'cause she's cute.
Raj: Not just because she's cute. She also owns a pretty expensive drone, which means she has money and doesn't mind wasting it. And I I like that in a woman.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Anu: Look, your whole sweet, insecure thing is cute, but honestly, I have no time for that. If you're not serious about this, you need to walk away now.
Raj: I-I am serious.
Anu: Good.
Raj: Okay. (chuckles) Okay, what does this mean?
Anu: I think it means I might be the future Mrs. -
Raj: Koothrappali.
Anu: How would you feel if I didn't change my name?
Raj: A little hurt, but you wouldn't know, because I'm too nice.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Raj: Oh, I am stuffed! I should not have eaten all those dumplings.
Anu: I think we should have sex.
Raj: Me, too.
Anu: Yeah, it's just, we haven't done it yet, and I think it's important to make sure we're compatible before we get married.
Raj: I totally agree. Oh, just one question. While we're doing it, can I leave my shirt on? You know, the dumplings, pretty salty.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Bernadette: Sounds expensive.
Howard: Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard, but you can't put a price on safety.
Raj: Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: Hold on. I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.
Sheldon: Can we trust him?
Raj: I should say so, he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: It doesn't have to be tonight. How about this weekend? I can get us a room at my hotel.
Raj: Okay. Sounds nice. We can order a bunch of room service, because I'm not eating anything between now and then.

Quote from the episode The Consummation Deviation

Anu: Are you worried?
Raj: I am not worried. If anything, I'm overconfident. Edging into smug.
Anu: I'm sure it's gonna be fine.
Raj: Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. Trust me, I've had no complaints.
Anu: Good to know.
Raj: Well, I've had questions, comments, some constructive criticism, (snorts): but no complaints.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: No, no, not this time. I know insects, my friend, I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets, putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels underneath, identifying the genus and species. In Latin.
Raj: Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Hey, look at this. Twenty people from the university have already signed up for our private beta.
Leonard: I'm telling you, the Lenwoloppali Differential Equation Scanner meets a real need. We've got a hit.
Raj: What do you think we should sell it for?
Howard: Well, based on the fact that our potential market is about seventy or eighty guys, and you want a submarine, I'd say about a million dollars a pop.
Raj: Well, what if we put out a lite version for half a million? You know, get the word of mouth going.

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