Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 209

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Sheldon: I'm trying to come up with a new approach to dark matter, but people keep distracting me. First, my mother kept answering the phone when I called, even though she knew I was busy. And now you show up with my favorite shape of food-- a circle made of triangles served in a square box.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: You know, I don't know how I feel about all this baby-proofing. If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs, then maybe that's nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: My mother is pushing for my brother, Georgie, to be my best man, and I hate to disappoint her again. I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: So as to not upset any of you further, I've asked Stuart to be my best man, and he's agreed. You're all still invited to the bachelor party. Uh, he's thinking Costco and the theme is browsing.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: I want a real wedding.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, it was just making us fight.
Sheldon: I know. But, Amy, I never thought I'd want to marry anyone. So the fact that I found you is astonishing. It's-it's like finding dark matter, except they're looking for dark matter. I wasn't even looking for you. S-So you're even better than dark matter.
Amy: (chuckles) Sheldon.
Sheldon: Plus, plus, you interact with light, so I can see you. And, also, you don't account for the missing mass in the universe. Oh, and-
Amy: Okay, I think you're getting caught up on the ways I'm not like dark matter.
Sheldon: Right. Sorry.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Oh, good, you're here. I've decided on our centerpieces. I just hope your family isn't allergic to asbestos.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Maybe we should just get married at City Hall and forget about everything else.
Sheldon: City Hall, hmm. I do like metal detectors and the sound of permits being denied.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: And if we're not enjoying planning this wedding, then what's the point?
Sheldon: Well, historically, a wedding was to let other potential suitors know that we're unavailable. But I think matching T-shirts that say "Hands off the merchandise" accomplish the same thing.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Tomorrow we'll go downtown and get married.
Sheldon: Or we could go to Beverly Hills City Hall if you want a destination wedding.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: What is going on?
Howard: Raj is trying to blame me for his pathetic life.
Sheldon: His life isn't pathetic. He's got that whole table to himself!

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Well if the ushers are so important to you, what if I propose a trade? You may pick that, and I will decide, say, first dance.
Amy: Great. Then the ushers will be my cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.
Sheldon: Oh. And the first dance will be that we won't have one.
Amy: All right. Then our second dance will be the first dance.
Sheldon: Unless we have no dance at all.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Your turn.
Sheldon: (runs randomizer) Ring bearer! Oh boy, I'm so glad that R2-D2 is still available.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: You know, this is really fun. I can't believe that people say that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life.
Sheldon: I know. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel how much better we are than other people.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: All right, Amy, you're up. Next decision.
Amy: Come on, first dance! Come on, first dance!
Sheldon: (runs computer randomizer) Invitations! Oh! That's a good one. Just a suggestion, hologram projected out of R2-D2.

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 3,121Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes