Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 259

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: That was my iced tea.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: Frankly, I don't know what Linda ever saw in either of them.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: Kudos on the meatballs. They're nice and round.
Amy: Thanks.
Sheldon: Yeah. They're much better than those prolate spheroids you used to pass off as balls.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: Are you all right? You seem distracted.
Amy: Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out.
Sheldon: Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 'Cause I'll give you a hint: it's already in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." I filled out the gift card for you. Apparently, I'm the light of your life.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Amy: Sheldon, if someone were gonna do something ethically murky on your behalf, would you rather know about it or not know about it to retain your innocence?
Sheldon: Well, now that I know there's a thing to know, I have to know. Can't help myself; I'm a fact addict.
Amy: That's not a real thing.
Sheldon: And that's a fact.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Amy: I mean, it's sweet that you want to help, but we don't want you compromising your integrity for us.
Sheldon: Wait, what- Really? I thought we were just worried about looking bad.
Amy: It could be both.
Sheldon: Okay. But I'm gonna go with my reason. Yours is too complicated.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: So I was talking to my mom about our Pemberton and Campbell situation.
Amy: Really? What'd she say?
Sheldon: Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath on them for being deceitful, but New Testament God would forgive them.
Amy: So couldn't we just bring down our wrath and ask the New Testament God to forgive us?
Sheldon: You know, I asked her that very question.
Amy: And?
Sheldon: She said I was full of California sass.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: Ugh, why is this decision so hard?
Raj: Maybe because you want to win, but deep down you know it's not the honorable way to do it. Otherwise, you would've done it already.
Amy: That's really wise.
Sheldon: Yes, but it may just be the Indian accent.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Amy: Do you think by not exposing Pemberton we're doing the right thing?
Sheldon: Of course. Unless you think we're not doing the right thing.
Amy: Why would you think that I don't think we're doing the right thing?
Sheldon: You might think that if good people hold themselves to unrealistically high ethical standards, then they might lose out to their unscrupulous competitors.
Amy: Is that what you think?
Sheldon: No. No, I just thought if you thought we weren't doing the right thing, that's why you might think that.
Amy: Well, if I did think that, you might point out that people who claim it's okay to do bad things to win are bad people no matter what they tell themselves.
Sheldon: And I'd be right to point that out.
Amy: Because you're a good person.
Sheldon: I love talking to you. It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Sheldon: No, no, no, no. Your money's no good here. [Sheldon takes the bill from Dr. Campbell and hands it to President Siebert]

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Dr. Pemberton: Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out, and moving forward, may the best team win.
Sheldon: I couldn't agree more. [quietly to Amy] We're the best team.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Amy: So, obviously, I'm really sorry about my outburst. Calling you frauds was unacceptable. I feel terrible about it.
Sheldon: It has caused her a lot of stress. She chewed through her night guard like it was a piece of jerky.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Dr. Pemberton: What you said was really hurtful, especially because I thought we were friends.
Sheldon: Why would you think that?
Dr. Pemberton: Ouch.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Dr. Campbell: Yes, obviously, you're angry at all the attention we're getting for our discovery and you're lashing out.
Sheldon: Well, uh, technically, she lashed out. I contained myself, which I don't think I'm getting enough credit for.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

President Siebert: Look, the Nobel Committee doesn't like infighting, so if the four of you don't stop sniping at each other, the award's gonna go to someone else entirely.
Amy: He's right. You know, like it or not, we can't avoid each other. Let's at least try to be civil.
Drs. Campbell: Agreed. You know, when you think about it, we're linked together the same way that super-asymmetry links together every atom in the universe.
Dr. Pemberton: Hmm.
Amy: That's not what it does at all!
Dr. Pemberton: Well, that's the great thing about science. We all get to have our own opinions.
Sheldon: I'm still not talking. That's impressive, right?

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 3,885Sort by  popularity | date added | episode