Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 207

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Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: He wasn't insane.
Leonard: He did fall in love with a pigeon.
Sheldon: Well, if we're gonna call Tesla crazy for loving something small and unappealing, might as well put Penny in a padded cell right now.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Why did you tell Barry Kripke your idea? This is all your fault.
Leonard: No, it's your fault. If you would've come to us in the beginning, none of this would've happened.
Amy: Well, if it helps, you all behaved terribly and you deserve what you got.
Sheldon: Well, that doesn't help, at all. You know, sometimes your social skills are very poor.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: I don't think what they called you is the point here.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? How would you feel if I called you the name of a neuroscientist you didn't like?
Amy: Do you know the name of any neuroscientist?
Sheldon: Of course.
Amy: Not me?
Sheldon: Then no.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Do you think they're right, Amy? Do you think I'm like Edison?
Amy: Sheldon, I don't think you're upset because of what kind of scientist they said you're like. I think you're upset because your friends' feelings got hurt.
Sheldon: You're right. I care too much about other people's feelings. It's always been my fatal flaw.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't think-
Sheldon: No, no, not now, Amy. I'm growing as a person.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: What's going on?
Howard: Sheldon went to the Air Force behind our backs.
Sheldon: I did nothing of the sort. I had an idea for a neutrino-based communication system, I presented it to them, and they were interested.
Howard: But your communication system was based on our guidance system.
Sheldon: And sonar is based on bats. You don't see them hanging upside down in a patent attorney's office.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Can you believe they said I was just like Edison? Yeah, and in front of a lady, no less.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: Well, you are building on their work and taking the credit for it. That's a classic Edison move.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? Well, if I'm Edison and you love me, then what does that say about you?
Amy: I honestly don't know.
Sheldon: Okay. Well, I have to Google some stuff about Mrs. Edison. I'll be right back.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: You know whose fault this is?
Amy: I do. Yours.
Sheldon: No, my mother's. "Go make friends, Sheldon." What happens? 20 years later, they call me names.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: What do you want to watch?
Sheldon: Oh, why don't you pick.
Amy: Okay, how about comedy?
Sheldon: Eh, I already laughed today.
Amy: I know. It was when I stubbed my toe.
Sheldon: (chuckles) Still funny.
Amy: Drama?
Sheldon: Nah, I've already seen someone cry today.
Amy: It really hurt, Sheldon!

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: I'm sorry, can we do this another time? Amy's just about to realize she wants to watch a Hulk marathon.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, so he's basically a pornographer. Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, someone takes it out.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: It's fine. I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to.
Leonard: What does that mean?
Penny: Leonard! Sad face, sad face.
Sheldon: I mean, I would like to, but I just can't, you know, because it's classified and top secret.
Leonard: Hold on, are you still working for the military?
Sheldon: I'm so glad you figured that out! It was killing me keeping it a secret.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Penny: I thought they fired you guys.
Sheldon: They did, but then they hired me back.
Leonard: Well, you better not be working on our project, because we're a team.
Sheldon: Leonard, there is no "I" in team. However, there is an "I" in "I'm working with the military and you're not." There's five of them, in fact.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Penny: Hold on. Where is he?
Leonard: Well, according to his text, he was on the second floor, then he stopped to tie his shoe. (phone chimes) All tied, and-
Sheldon: Hello!
Amy: Hi.
Sheldon: Sorry we're late. Amy took forever tying my shoe.

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