Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 152 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Penny: Sheldon, what took you so long?
Sheldon: Wolowitz might hand out cigars. I had to find my bubble gum cigar so I could join in without looking foolish.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Leonard: Babe, they want to have sex.
Pennny: Oh, of course! The annual birthday booty spectacular!
Sheldon: That's a bit childish, isn't it?
Penny: I'm sorry, and what flavor is your bubble gum cigar?
Sheldon: Grape. I find it the most mild.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Amy: I think I might have a little surprise that might help get things back on track.
Sheldon: Intriguing. Is "back on track" a hint that it has something to do with trains?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Because if it did have to do with trains, and you were gonna give-
Amy: It's not about trains!
Sheldon: Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper car on the Orient Express?
Amy: Stop talking about trains!
Sheldon: Who's killing the mood now?

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Raj: For God's sake, just drive in the knife, why don't you!
Stuart: What's your problem?
Raj: Well, you're all thinking that I'm the only one who hasn't done anything worthwhile.
Sheldon: I was not thinking it. Although, now that you point it out, it is undeniable.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Stuart: Raj, if it's any consolation, I'm no better off than I was ten years ago.
Raj: Oh, yay! I have a doctorate in astrophysics and I'm every bit as awesome as the pasty-faced owner of a comic book store!
Sheldon: Raj! Show some compassion. Those are things that we think but don't say.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Amy: Well, that was quite a day.
Sheldon: It was. Bernadette had her baby, I made it to Wizarding World, and now it is time to complete your birthday celebration. (Pointing his wand) Hankius pankius.
Amy: I was afraid you'd be too tired.
Sheldon: Amy, I just saw a magic train and reported somebody for cutting the line. If that's not foreplay, I don't know what is.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Mary Cooper: Well, thank you for letting me know, and I, for one, am thrilled.
Sheldon: What? What Where's the judgment? Where's the fire and brimstone? Where's the part where you tell us we're going to Hell, and I say "Have you seen the size of the bugs outside? We're already there!"

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: You know, I'm sorry your mother made you feel bad. But, you know, at the end of the day, she was wrong, because you're not alone.
Sheldon: You're right. I have Leonard and Howard and Raj, Stuart, Penny, Leonard's mom, Bernadette, Wil Wheaton.
Amy: What about the woman who just buttered your big flat feet?
Sheldon: I was going chronologically. You're right between Koothrappali's father and Omar, the one-eyed Sparkletts guy.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: So, tell me, do you have any plans for the weekend?
Leonard: Are you gonna laugh at the answer?
Sheldon: Only if the answer is "shopping for baby shoes."

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: You're sad, so I made you tea.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: And it's just the way you like it.
Leonard: Earl Grey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Honey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Unsweetened almond-
Sheldon: Good Lord! I made you tea. Just drink it!

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me. Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
Amy: Nice to see you, too.
Sheldon: (to Leonard) And that's how you make effort look effortless.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Amy: Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy?
Sheldon: Very well. Hey, later, we'll check out the minibar. I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: There's a cucumber in my water.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: Do they know it's there? Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
Amy: It's there on purpose. It's refreshing.
Sheldon: Interesting. The world's most boring liquid and the world's most boring vegetable. But you put 'em together, and bleh.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Penny: "Article 8, subsection B: Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home.
This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs."
Leonard: Does it really need to say that?
Sheldon: I did this for free, let me get a little something.

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