Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 152 of 209

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Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Rut? I think you mean consistency. And if we're going to abandon that, then why even call it Thursday? Let's call it Quonko Day and divide it into 29 hours of 17 minutes apiece, and celebrate it by sacrificing a goat to the might god Ra.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Do you think Penny will come here and take care of us?
Leonard: I don't think Pennyís ever coming here again.
Sheldon: I'm very congested.
Leonard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: Can you go to the kitchen, and get me the turkey baster labeled mucus.
Leonard: If I stand, I'll vomit.
Sheldon: Under the sink, yellow Tupperware bowl.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Penny: While you're there, could you pick up a few comics for my nephew's birthday?
Sheldon: I think you mean comic books. Comics are feeble attempts at humor featuring talking babies and anthropomorphizing pets found traditionally in the optimistically named funny pages.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: Anyway, Penny now believes that on Friday night, we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention.
Leonard: Your cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: Yea, who most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. Remember that, it's important.
Leonard: What's important?
Sheldon: Details, Leonard. The success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: Look at that.
Sheldon: Yes, this is remarkable.
Amy: So we're agreed: it's complete garbage.
Sheldon: By the way, your name can go first.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: This movie baffles me every time we watch it.
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Well, the instructions are very clear. Don't feed the gremlins after midnight. Don't get the gremlins wet. How hard is that?

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Amy: Well, since you sort of asked, I actually had a very good day. Got some new equipment for my lab.
Sheldon: Well, congratulations. I got some new equipment, too. I got these markers. They smell like fruit.
Which I did not notice when I bought them. (sniffs) Don't really care for it.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Amy: So, Howard, are you interested?
Howard: Are you kidding? If I could control robot arms with my brain, I'd be able to do so many things.
Sheldon: Really? Because you've been controlling human arms with your brain for years and not much has come of it.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: This contract looks good to me.
Sheldon: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
Leonard: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: Okay. Why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin?
Sheldon: Ah, because it's in Long Beach, and I don't drive.
Leonard: We're going to Long Beach?
Sheldon: No, of course not. Theres no cousin Leo, theres no intervention. Focus, Leonard.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Look at that, that's a dent. Thank you, Howard ham-fisted Wolowitz.

Quote from the episode The Graduation Transmission

Sheldon: What does red and yellow mean?
Howard: It means the calibration failed. We have to start over.
Sheldon: Oh. Very well. Reinitiating calibration sequence. *flips switch rapidly* One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... *lights on drone don't turn solid yellow* eleven. It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: We just leave the house on Friday night, and we return in the wee hours emotionally wrung out from the work of convincing Leo to go back into rehab.
Leonard: So he goes back into rehab?
Sheldon: Yes. But he can relapse if Penny ever invites us to go hear her sing again.
Leonard: You still told her I lied.
Sheldon: For a noble purpose, to spare me the social embarrassment of having a drug-addled first cousin, which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?
Leonard: I don't know. How am I supposed to remember all of this?
Sheldon: That's the best part. You don't have to. See, I told Penny that you would be embarrassed if you knew that she found out that you had lied. So she's agreed to operate as if the original lie was still in force.
Leonard: So she's expecting me to lie about going to a symposium in Pasadena, when in actuality we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach?
Sheldon: Un-unravelable.

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