Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 153 of 209

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Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Leonard: It's fine, I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon: Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What siren am I?"

Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation

Sheldon: What's wrong?
Penny: I just think it might look more natural if you talked to me instead of the camera. You know, like a real conversation. It's something we work on in my acting class.
Sheldon: Interesting. A few people in the comments section have said that my delivery is robotic. Perhaps that's not the compliment it sounds like.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: So, you're just gonna sign this without having a lawyer look at it?
Sheldon: Excuse me. I've been drafting contracts since kindergarten. Didn't need a lawyer to get me out of finger painting. Don't need one now.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Leonard: Here's your cocoa.
Sheldon: Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
Leonard: You got one for good luck. (Knock on door) I'll get it.
Sheldon: One for good luck. Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Leonard: So, what's going on with Raj?
Howard: Well, the good news is, he has no problem with my mother's tur-brka-fil.
Penny: Hard to believe, but go on.
Howard: The bad news is, he says he's getting deported.
Leonard: What do you mean, he's getting deported?
Sheldon: I believe it means that the U.S. Government is going to expel him from the country. He could then either return to his native India, emigrate to another country that's willing to accept him, or wander the high seas as a stateless pirate. Personally, I'd choose pirate.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Sheldon: 366, 367
Amy: How's it going?
Sheldon: How's counting going? When I was in kindergarten, I recited Pi to a thousand places for the school talent show. I think I got this.
Amy: Great.
Sheldon: Aw, nuts! One

Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation

Penny: Let's try it again, and maybe this time, you could work on your body language a bit. You know, when you're all hunched like that, you're shutting the audience out, but when you're relaxed and open, you're inviting them in.
Sheldon: Right. And which one do I want?

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: All right, either blow your nose or teach it to play "Camptown Races."

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Howard: How about that? After all these years, your big bad high school bully finally apologizes.
Leonard: Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Sheldon: You know what would be nice?
Raj: Whats that?
Sheldon: As a symbolic gesture to all the bullies who've tormented us for years, we open our home to Jimmy and once he's asleep, we kill him. ... I said it would be nice, I didn't say we should do it.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Penny, would you mind stepping outside so we can speak to him?
Penny: Ugh, fine. But the man really needs to work on his girl issues.
Sheldon: Another reason to consider a life of piracy. Even today, I understand that's an all-male profession.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Sheldon: This is preposterous. I think you're giving me these tasks because you're afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do, I'll show you up.
Amy: Really? Is that what you think?
Sheldon: Yes, that's what I think. And I'm super smart, so it's probably true.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, hello, everyone. I am happy to report I'm feeling much better.
Leonard: Good for you.
Sheldon: My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.
Howard: Glad to hear it.
Sheldon: I'll be able to return to work tomorrow.
Raj: Yay.
Sheldon: Well, why isn't everyone happy? Your little ray of sunshine is ready to beam again.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being patently absurd.
Leonard: Good one.
Sheldon: Okay, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: Yeah, boy, if good ideas came out of your brain the way mucus comes out of your nose, we'd be in good shape.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Amy: Hey, I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years. You've been here for three hours, and you've spent one of them in the bathroom.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. It takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

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