Amy: Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy?
Sheldon: Very well. Hey, later, we'll check out the minibar. I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.

Sheldon: There's a cucumber in my water.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: Do they know it's there? Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
Amy: It's there on purpose. It's refreshing.
Sheldon: Interesting. The world's most boring liquid and the world's most boring vegetable. But you put 'em together, and bleh.

Penny: "Article 8, subsection B: Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home.
This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs."
Leonard: Does it really need to say that?
Sheldon: I did this for free, let me get a little something.

Sheldon: You sign here, date here. And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.

Sheldon: What are the reasons women reject Raj?
Raj: Can we not play this game?
Sheldon: Doesn't like games. That's one.

Sheldon: You have no idea what it's like to struggle with recognizing emotional cues.
Amy: I'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: And also a little sad.
Sheldon: Okay, now you're just showing off.

Sheldon: A machine that reads emotions is intriguing. It could help me be a more considerate friend.
Bernadette: Wouldn't that be nice.
Sheldon: It could also help me identify my enemies, discover their fears and then I could use those fears to destroy them.
Bernadette: I like the first one.

Raj: Now that Sheldon's across the hall, have you decided what you're doing with his old room?
Leonard: I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room.
Sheldon: You could make it a train room.
Leonard: I don't like trains. You like trains.
Sheldon: I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room.

Amy: What does it say I'm feeling?
Sheldon: Sad.
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
Sheldon: Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future. What, now, see, now it says you're mad. Make up your mind.

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector.

Amy: What's that? Are you working on your resume?
Penny: No, it's my brother's. I'm trying to help him get a job out here.
Sheldon: Oh, ooh! And that makes Leonard angry.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Sheldon: What? Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it. It's this red frowny guy on my phone.

Amy: Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
Sheldon: Gladly. Can we storm out?
Amy: I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll just give them the finger. (Sheldon gives them a thumbs down)

Leonard: We owe you an apology.
Sheldon: Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase, I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
Leonard: That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, I thought we were going in order.

Penny: Look, we got really angry at each other, and you just got caught in the middle of it.
Leonard: And sorry about the suitcase.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, you should be. Your socks were still in it. I had to throw it away.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately.
Howard: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I am looking at the math, and I think we can make the device between eight and ten percent smaller.
Leonard: That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs. We're good to go.
Howard: Yeah, it doesn't need to be smaller.
Sheldon: Shame on you. Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude? I'll tell you. We would have the standard and the miniature poodle, but no toy or teacup. Which by the way, is not an officially recognized breed, but that's just poodle politics.
Leonard: Can we please stop talking about poodles?
Sheldon: Fine. Candy bars. Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do.