Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 154 of 215

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Oh! Good, you're here. Are you still fighting? If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases?

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Jimmy Speckerman: From what I read, it sounded like a big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?
Raj: Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
Sheldon: My point.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: He wasn't insane.
Leonard: He did fall in love with a pigeon.
Sheldon: Well, if we're gonna call Tesla crazy for loving something small and unappealing, might as well put Penny in a padded cell right now.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Leonard: We all agreed that the third Thursday of every month would be Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Sheldon: Well, apparently the news didn't reach my digestive system, which, when startled, has its own version of Anything Can Happen Thursday.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny: I remember symposium.
Sheldon: Yes, well, he lied.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny: Well imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: Number three. To avoid getting frustrated, we take built-in breaks and reward our successes with a small treat.
Sheldon: Ooh, that sounds fun. Now, we're talking about real treats, right? Not Bible verses like my mother used to give me.
Amy: Whatever you want.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Amy: You know, I could use an engineer on this project.
Sheldon: Well, now, this works out great. Howard's an engineer. I'm sure he knows someone qualified.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: Please, I'm asking you as a friend.
Sheldon: Are you making this a tier one friendship request?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Fine.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Rut? I think you mean consistency. And if we're going to abandon that, then why even call it Thursday? Let's call it Quonko Day and divide it into 29 hours of 17 minutes apiece, and celebrate it by sacrificing a goat to the might god Ra.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Do you think Penny will come here and take care of us?
Leonard: I don't think Penny’s ever coming here again.
Sheldon: I'm very congested.
Leonard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: Can you go to the kitchen, and get me the turkey baster labeled mucus.
Leonard: If I stand, I'll vomit.
Sheldon: Under the sink, yellow Tupperware bowl.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: Yeah, yeah. All right, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.
Leonard: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: That's how my father always began our football conversations. And if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Penny: While you're there, could you pick up a few comics for my nephew's birthday?
Sheldon: I think you mean comic books. Comics are feeble attempts at humor featuring talking babies and anthropomorphizing pets found traditionally in the optimistically named funny pages.

Showing quotes 2,296 to 2,310 of 3,217Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes