Kathleen: Here's my card. Why don't you two talk it over, and I will check to see if our soup spoons are "deeper than they are wide".
Sheldon: What? Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon.

Amy: Is that Leonard?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, these are all dead, accomplished scientists. Leonard will only ever be one of those things.

Amy: I know you're upset, but if we want to book the Athenaeum, we really should do it now, and then, I promise, we'll have our whole lives to complain about Leonard.
Sheldon: Aw, somebody got a head start on her vows.

Sheldon: On the other hand, shaming Leonard during our wedding at the very place he betrayed me does have a beautiful symmetry to it.
Amy: That's nice, it'll be your first petty act as a married man.

Sheldon: Although, it is our wedding. Maybe it shouldn't be all about revenge.

Amy: That's not much of an apology.
Sheldon: Yeah, because he's not really sorry. Obviously, he wanted a place to go where I wouldn't be and apparently all of outside wasn't enough for him.

Sheldon: We're not going to let Barry win.
Leonard: Well, what are we going to do?
Sheldon: We have a combined IQ of 360. Perhaps more if that radiation gave you a super brain.

Sheldon: Hey, good news, Amy. We got the Athenaeum.
Amy: Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. How'd you get Barry to change his mind?
Sheldon: Well, I couldn't have done it without Leonard. Boy, you should've seen us in there. We were like Batman and Robin.
Leonard: Why do I have to be Robin?
Sheldon: If you have to ask, you're Robin.

Sheldon: But maybe you could drop me at the bottom of the mountain. I want him to think I'm cool.

Sheldon: Do you have any mail for Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
Mailman: I do, but I can't hand it right to you. I have to put it in the box.
Sheldon: And that is what separates the U.S. Postal Service from those hippies at FedEx.

Howard: I'll take the heart smart platter.
Penny: Alright, thank you, and Sheldon.
Sheldon: We don't eat here. I don't know what's good.
Penny: Well, it's all good.
Sheldon: Statistically unlikely.

Leonard: What did Penny mean, you'd make a cute couple?
Sheldon: Well I assume she meant that the two of you together would constitute a couple that others might consider cute. An alternate, and somewhat less likely interpretation, is that you could manufacture one. As in, oh look, Leonard and Leslie made Mr. and Mrs. Goldfarb, aren't they adorable.

Sheldon: Do you realise I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
Leonard: You know what, I'm being ridiculous. Who cares what Penny thinks? Leslie is a terrific girl. She's attractive, we like each other, she's extremely intelligent.
Sheldon: She's not that intelligent.
Leonard: She fixed your equation.
Sheldon: She got lucky.
Leonard: You don't believe in luck.
Sheldon: I don't have to believe in it for her to be lucky.

Penny: Wait, why are you being so weird?
Sheldon: It occurred to me that perhaps you were telling the truth about Bill Gates and it wasn't just part of an elaborate prank.
Penny: What would the prank part even be?
Sheldon: I show up to meet Bill Gates over your "objections," but it's not Bill Gates at all, no. It's one of those look-alikes that you hire for a party. And then when I go around showing everybody the balloon animal that "Bill Gates" made for me, I'll look like an idiot.
Penny: Have you been eating laundry detergent?

Sheldon: No, it's a distraction. How can I focus on my work when all I can think about is how much I want that sandwich?
Amy: So, go get one.
Sheldon: I can't just give in to every urge I have when I have it. That's why I have a rigid schedule. It's bad enough I had to give in to my urge to create a rigid schedule.