Sheldon: No, it's a distraction. How can I focus on my work when all I can think about is how much I want that sandwich?
Amy: So, go get one.
Sheldon: I can't just give in to every urge I have when I have it. That's why I have a rigid schedule. It's bad enough I had to give in to my urge to create a rigid schedule.

Leonard: Did you complain to the tenants association about the food truck?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: And they actually took you seriously?
Sheldon: Oh, the tenants association takes every complaint seriously.
Penny: Oh, great, because I'm about to send them an e-mail complaining about you.
Sheldon: (phone chimes) Excuse me. Wow, someone should have spell-checked.

Leonard: And the noise complaint we got for singing you"Happy Birthday"?
Sheldon: As a friend, I was touched. As a representative of the building, I thought that you should pick a key and stick with it.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Sheldon: 'Cause I wanted to make sure that you loved the man, not the office.

Leonard: You can't just declare yourself president.
Sheldon: I didn't. I called a meeting, I was the only one to attend. I nominated myself, and after a pretty moving speech, I voted myself in.

Amy: Hi. What are you doing?
Sheldon: Leonard and Penny are trying to turn the tenants against me, so they are about to see just what kind of power the president of the tenants association wields.
Amy: "You must be at least this tall to use washing machine"?
Sheldon: I'm gonna hang it up higher than Leonard. And then his clothes will smell. And nobody's voting for a man with smelly clothes. No, not when there's a perfectly unscented incumbent on the ballot.

Amy: Are you sure you're gonna be okay this weekend?
Sheldon: Of course. No, I'm much more concerned about you. I know how you gals behave when the men are away.
Amy: You do?
Sheldon: I've read The Bacchae by Euripides. Drinking wine, riding panthers Proof that girls have gone wild for over 2,500 years.

Amy: I'm sure there'll be some drinking and some dancing, and then a mailman'll probably show up and take his clothes off-
Sheldon: Nicholas is going to take his clothes off?
Amy: No, not our mailman. A dancer pretending to be a mailman.
Sheldon: Impersonating a federal employee? Oh, where's the after-party, prison?

Sheldon: Okay, listen. Dr. Wolcott is a brilliant topologist. We need to set some ground rules so that you don't embarrass me. [To Howard] No magic. [To Leonard] No whining. [To Raj] You, just no.
Raj: Hey!
Leonard: Uh, how come he gets to whine?

Sheldon: So, how would this work in the context of a singularity?
Doctor Wolcott: Yes, that's-that's a tricky bit to explain. I assume you're familiar with non-abelian group theory.
Sheldon: Oh, and how. You never forget your first group theory.

Sheldon: Thank you for bringing me up here. But I think I'm ready to go home now.
Raj: Really? You don't want to stay for dinner and talk more science?
Sheldon: No. No, we better go. I miss Amy. And my phone. [gunshot in distance] Also, I'm from Texas, and I can taste the difference between rabbit and squirrel.

Leonard: So, is this Georgie?
Sheldon: Yes. And what is he even using that stethoscope to listen to?
Leonard: I don't know, small leak?
Sheldon: All right, that makes sense.

Sheldon: Just look at her over there. She just started, and she gets to put up "Staff Picks." I've been coming here for ten years, I still can't put up "Sheldon Dislikes."

Sheldon: Excuse me. I was wondering if you could recommend something.
Denise: Oh, sure. You want to tell me what you like?
Sheldon: I would not.
Denise: All right, well, you're wearing a Green Lantern shirt, so I'm guessing you're a DC fan. Although that's from the Alan Scott era, so you're probably not super into the current run. How would you feel about an alternate history where World War I was fought with dragons and magic?
Sheldon: That's what I wanted the theme of my tenth birthday party to be!

Neil Gaiman: You know, if you're interested in alternate histories, Neil Gaiman wrote one called 1602.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, we're in the middle of something here.
Neil Gaiman: It is pretty good, actually. He takes the Marvel superheroes and he puts them into Elizabethan England.
Sheldon: Let me guess, everyone thinks the X-Men are witches.
Neil Gaiman: Yeah.