Amy: Hey, I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years. You've been here for three hours, and you've spent one of them in the bathroom.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. It takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

Amy: Sheldon, I've given you the simplest things to do, and you haven't done one of them right.
Sheldon: Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged. It's the same reason Einstein failed math.
Amy: Maybe the math was too bubbly for him.
Sheldon: You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain? They could do the same thing at any Quiznos. And they'd offer to toast it for me, too.

Amy: Okay, smart guy. I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus, which is incredibly delicate work. Have at it.
Sheldon: All right. I'm no stranger to a little gray matter. Locus coeruleus. Locus coeruleus.
Amy: You're getting warmer, it is, indeed, in the brain. Hope your hands are steady. It's the width of a single hair. But this is just biology, so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you.
Sheldon: It's not. I'll have you know, in the field of physics, we work with particles so small, they make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus, i.e., when your locus coeruleus sits around the house, it sits around the house.

Sheldon: Does a locus coeruleus normally bleed that much?
Amy: No. But your thumb does.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. (Faints)

Howard: What happened to your thumb?
Sheldon: You know, I have ten fingers and ten toes. If I tell you a story about each one of them, we'll be here all day, let's just move on.

Sheldon: Ah, seeing as I'm on vacation, a pina colada seems appropriate. Extra pineapple slices, extra whipped cream, extra cherries, extra umbrellas, and, uh, hold the rum. Don't let me have too many of those.

Sheldon: I was kind of hoping I could continue vacationing in your laboratory. After all, I did book the whole week.
Amy: Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here after the way you behaved yesterday?
Sheldon: I was not myself. I had lost a lot of thumb blood.
Amy: That's not an apology.
Sheldon: That is your opinion.

Amy: Now, if you want to stay, get started on those beakers. They're still dirty from yesterday.
Sheldon: Next year I'm going to Epcot.

Sheldon: To amend the words of Toy Story, you have not got a friend in me.

Sheldon: You're my girlfriend and you're not going to cater to my every need? Where'd the magic go?

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

Sheldon: Wine and a girl in the dark. He's going to be bored out of his mind.

Sheldon: Rise and shine sleepy head, half the town probably is dead.

Sheldon: It took me a gallon of urine to get that water!

Sheldon: Uh oh, hypothetical aftershock. (Sheldon grabs Leonard and pushes him over) And that's why we wear hard-hats.