Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 186 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Leonard: Screw you, Sheldon. You are the most annoying person I have ever met.
Sheldon: What? I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast. Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch. Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts 'cause you think they're ugly. You're impossible.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Sheldon: Oh, it took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule. He would just go whenever the mood struck him.
Amy: Like a dog boy.
Sheldon: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: Penny, you're an expert on trading sexual favors for material gain, walk him through this.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Leonard: What's this?
Sheldon: Just a few things you may need tonight. There's baby oil, condoms, and a little something I procured from the school of pharmacology. They say it is to Viagra as Viagra is to a green M&M.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Leonard: That was San Diego Comic-Con. This is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
Penny: Is that better?
Leonard: Well, it's a lot smaller. It's more about the comic books. The way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood.
Sheldon: So to answer your question, no, it's not better.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Penny: Well then why are you going?
Sheldon: It's a comic book convention. You know, it's like pizza or particle accelerators, even the stinky one's still pretty good.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Yeah, I used to be uncomfortable around people, but then I learned a trick. I pretend everyone I meet is a beloved character from Star Trek.
Howard: How's that been working for you?
Sheldon: Oh, like a charm, unnamed crewman in a red shirt.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Don't worry, officer. They just love each other. We're not smuggling drugs.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Is that supposed to be funny?
Sheldon: I believe it is. The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb to go suggests that Leonard is humorously mocking your efforts in space plumbing.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Guys, we have a code red.
Sheldon: Do you mean code red for the hospital emergency alert, code red the computer worm, or Code Red the cherry-flavored soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: I must say, Howard, I think a detailed letter to MIT describing your current circumstances might entitle you to a refund on your master's degree.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Penny: Ooh, look who's out on a date. Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
Sheldon: And that is the answer to the question, what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
Sheldon: Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. I don't know what it is, but when they start munching on eucalyptus, I just melt inside.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Leonard: Buy her something.
Sheldon: How does that work?
Leonard: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
Sheldon: Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Shop Assistant: Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady?
Penny: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out. You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.
Penny: Fine, go ahead.
Sheldon: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.

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