Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 189 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Sheldon: That's ridiculous. I am one of the great minds of our generation. I work on a level so rarefied you couldn't even imagine it. I said stop looking at my train!

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Kripke: You have some brilliant insights here, but if we're gonna make this work, you need to buckle down and focus.
Sheldon: I'll do what I can. But it's not going to be easy, because when I'm with Amy and our bathing suit areas mush together, boy howdy, is it magic.

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Penny: All right, I don't understand. Why didn't you just tell Kripke the truth?
Sheldon: Because the truth made my look bad, whereas a ridiculous bald-faced lie makes me look good. Anyway, if Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense and whimsically inventive.

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Kripke: Was she naked or was she wearing lingerie?
Sheldon: I didn't notice.
Kripke: How could you not notice?
Sheldon: i was too busy squishing all the desirable parts of her body.
Kripke: Ah, you're killing me, Cooper!

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Kripke: You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon: Toys? I do have a model rocket next to my bed.
Kripke: A rocket? You're a freak! I love it!

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Amy: Why don't we do something athletic like go over to the university pool and play water polo?
Leonard: No good, Sheldon doesn't float.
Sheldon: That is true. I have a higher than normal bone density. If I run too deep a bath, I drown.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Sheldon: Wait, I'm a little concerned. Blueberries are rich in antioxidants.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, with all those antioxidants, what if I run out of oxidants?

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Sheldon: My shirt is itchy and I wish I were dead.

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Sheldon: I would like to change mine. The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine. Now it's completely different from Goonies.
Amy: No, it's not.
Sheldon: Don't.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Sheldon: I was going to get my mail.
Penny: Okay. Are you hoping to get it telepathically?
Sheldon: I think you mean telekinetically. And no, I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Penny: So, how you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Penny: You're just coitusing with me, aren't you?
Sheldon: Bazinga!

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: Yeah, since when do you take walks?
Sheldon: I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increase serotonin. And you know me, if there's one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it's serotonin. Bye-bye.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Leonard: You really think he's gonna send us to a bowling alley?
Sheldon: Well, if he does, do you know how filthy those rental balls are? They might as well stand on the corner and give away free rectal exams.

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