Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 2 of 230

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Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Howard: I'll take the heart smart platter.
Penny: Alright, thank you, and Sheldon.
Sheldon: We don't eat here. I don't know what's good.
Penny: Well, it's all good.
Sheldon: Statistically unlikely.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leonard: What did Penny mean, you'd make a cute couple?
Sheldon: Well I assume she meant that the two of you together would constitute a couple that others might consider cute. An alternate, and somewhat less likely interpretation, is that you could manufacture one. As in, oh look, Leonard and Lesley made Mr and Mrs Goldfarb, aren't they adorable.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Leonard: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
Sheldon: What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: All right.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: So what's our first pose going to be?
Raj: I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene.
Leonard: I'll set the timer.
Howard: Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?
Sheldon: Mr. Data's weapon is his mind. I'm wielding it.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: Oh, my God. Leonard, someone's stealing your car!
Leonard: What? Hey, hey! Come back here!
Raj: Stop!
Sheldon: Stealing is against the law!

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: I'll call 911. What, oh, no, my phone is in my other pants.
Howard: Oh, so is mine.
Leonard: Mine, too. Anybody got any ideas?
Sheldon: Nope. The only thing left to do now is assign blame. (To Raj) Nice going.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Leonard: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
Sheldon: Interesting. Do you recall this conversation? Leonard, want to go halfsies on a steamer? No, Sheldon, we don't need a steamer. Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Sheldon: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest. Got a terrible case of pinkeye. But luckily, I was going as a zombie. I won second place.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Doctor Wolcott: Dr. Cooper, if you can promise me these men share your intellect and academic rigor, yeah, I suppose they can join us.
Sheldon: You guys might need to wait in the car.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Sheldon: But maybe you could drop me at the bottom of the mountain. I want him to think I'm cool.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Sheldon: Do you have any mail for Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
Mailman: I do, but I can't hand it right to you. I have to put it in the box.
Sheldon: And that is what separates the U.S. Postal Service from those hippies at FedEx.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Leonard: Wait, what? I scrubbed sludge for you. I may be slightly radioactive.
Sheldon: Oh, you're exaggerating. Don't let him touch the silverware.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Sheldon: Hey, good news, Amy. We got the Athenaeum.
Amy: Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. How'd you get Barry to change his mind?
Sheldon: Well, I couldn't have done it without Leonard. Boy, you should've seen us in there. We were like Batman and Robin.
Leonard: Why do I have to be Robin?
Sheldon: If you have to ask, you're Robin.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Sheldon: We're not going to let Barry win.
Leonard: Well, what are we going to do?
Sheldon: We have a combined IQ of 360. Perhaps more if that radiation gave you a super brain.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Amy: That's not much of an apology.
Sheldon: Yeah, because he's not really sorry. Obviously, he wanted a place to go where I wouldn't be and apparently all of outside wasn't enough for him.

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