Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 2 of 209

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Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: And if we're not enjoying planning this wedding, then what's the point?
Sheldon: Well, historically, a wedding was to let other potential suitors know that we're unavailable. But I think matching T-shirts that say "Hands off the merchandise" accomplish the same thing.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Tomorrow we'll go downtown and get married.
Sheldon: Or we could go to Beverly Hills City Hall if you want a destination wedding.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: What is going on?
Howard: Raj is trying to blame me for his pathetic life.
Sheldon: His life isn't pathetic. He's got that whole table to himself!

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Well if the ushers are so important to you, what if I propose a trade? You may pick that, and I will decide, say, first dance.
Amy: Great. Then the ushers will be my cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.
Sheldon: Oh. And the first dance will be that we won't have one.
Amy: All right. Then our second dance will be the first dance.
Sheldon: Unless we have no dance at all.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Your turn.
Sheldon: (runs randomizer) Ring bearer! Oh boy, I'm so glad that R2-D2 is still available.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: You know, this is really fun. I can't believe that people say that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life.
Sheldon: I know. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel how much better we are than other people.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: All right, Amy, you're up. Next decision.
Amy: Come on, first dance! Come on, first dance!
Sheldon: (runs computer randomizer) Invitations! Oh! That's a good one. Just a suggestion, hologram projected out of R2-D2.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Amy: Thanks for your input, but this is my decision, and I'm gonna go with Old English calligraphy on Egyptian papyrus.
Sheldon: Oh, what a fun mashup. It's like the chicken and waffles of orthography.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: We've assigned all wedding decisions randomly, and each of us makes half of them. You know, from venue to officiant to numbering system for the tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
Leonard: Why not hexadecimal?
Sheldon: 'Cause this is our wedding, not a joke.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: I don't understand what's going on here.
Raj: Oh, what's going on here is I'm up for a job at the planetarium, and Howard is making fun of me.
Sheldon: Oh, that's great. You're both doing what you love.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Wait. The premise is that he is dressed differently?
Howard: Yeah.
Sheldon: (laughing) That's true. He is not dressed the same.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Raj: What, y-you stole our Bitcoin?
Sheldon: Oh, calm down. All I did was sneak onto your computer and download your Bitcoin onto a flash drive.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I'm not keeping it. I just wanted to watch you sweat.
Howard: If you want to watch him sweat, walk up a flight of stairs with him.
Sheldon: I've waited seven long years, but it finally happened.
Leonard: Where's our money?
Sheldon: That's the best part. It's on the Batman flash drive on your key chain. You've had it in your pocket all along.
Leonard: Sheldon I lost that key chain years ago.
Sheldon: Really? D-D-Did you look under things?

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: Well, that is unfortunate. I guess we've all learned a lesson today.
Amy: What was the lesson?
Sheldon: I don't know.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Penny: No, no, no. I am alone. I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him.
Sheldon: Oh, he knows. The video I want to see is why you went out with him in the first place.

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