Sheldon: My catapult flings my bishop to Howard's Queen's Gorilla two.
Howard: Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad. And he comes out at Leonard's Queen's Bishop five-and-a-third. Check on Leonard.
Leonard: Hang on. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart?
Sheldon: When it's done charging. Or you land on the time machine. Obviously.
Leonard: Oh, oh, Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your Pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should have given my Pope the jet pack.

Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now, I have sheep. I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?

Sheldon: The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment, your brilliant yet intimidating mother.
Leonard: Where on earth did you get that from?
Sheldon: It's in her book, "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby".
Leonard: That doesn't make it true.
Sheldon: It's called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard.

Sheldon: Hang on a second, mister.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: It's customary when using the rest room at a retail establishment to make a small purchase. Did you?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Here's two dollars. Go buy some beef jerky.
Leonard: I don't want beef jerky.
Sheldon: It's not about you. It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan trying to make his way in America by working the graveyard shift at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron.
Leonard: Fine.
Sheldon: Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.

Sheldon: Leonard will be here in a moment. He's looking for a different parking space.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: We were next to a car with an ask me about my grandchildren bumper sticker, and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out, I'd be obligated to do so.

Bernadette: I'm so disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny.
Amy: Me, too. Out of deference to them, let's not flaunt our happy relationship.
Sheldon: You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Leonard: We are next to a Subaru with a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.
Sheldon: Well, I doubt they'd want to talk about that, so we're fine.

Sheldon: People, people, please, before you say something you both regret, I'd like to place my order.

Penny: You know why we can't be together? Because you always have to be right.
Leonard: Oh, that is not true.
Sheldon: I've got to go with Leonard on this. He is wrong more than anyone I know.

Sheldon: Leonard, promise me that when our new waitress comes over, you will not start a complicated on-again, off-again relationship with her, because I am very, very hungry.

Howard: The ladies are away, the boys will play.
Raj: Anything can happen.
Leonard: It's gonna get crazy.
Sheldon: Dungeons & Dragons!

Sheldon: I'm not sure how I feel about Howard being dungeon master instead of you.
Leonard: Oh, that's nice. But relax, sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him.
Sheldon: Oh, please. Every time the topic of change comes up, you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset that daylight saving time started, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight saving time ended, Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time, Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event. So stop using him against me.

Amy: You guys enjoy your evening. I'm gonna go before I ruin anybody else's weekend.
Sheldon: Ah, that's my girl.

Leonard: Amy, wait. I know it's not the night you had in mind, but why don't you guys stay and play with us? It'll be fun.
Sheldon: It would? Fun? Okay, three weeks ago you bought crunchy peanut butter, now you want the girls to play D&D? Do you have a drug problem?

Sheldon: Oh, I don't know about you guys, but I have been through the emotional wringer tonight.
Bernadette: This may be the potion talking, but you are one fine-ass dungeon master.
Howard: Oh, yeah? Well, when we get home, I'm gonna take you on a whole different adventure.
Sheldon: Another quest by Wolowitz? Count me in.
Amy: Sheldon, they're talking about sex.
Sheldon: Oh, then I'm out.