Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 203 of 230

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Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Sheldon: Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand. The axe is dragging me down.
Leonard: Drop axe.
Sheldon: Drop axe. Brilliant!

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Sheldon: Morning. Happy birthday.
Amy: Yeah, sure.
Sheldon: Did you sleep at all?
Amy: No. You?
Sheldon: I passed out on the toilet once. I don't know if that counts.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Penny: Ooh, look who's out on a date. Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
Sheldon: And that is the answer to the question, what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Friday's always vintage game night. Look, my mom included the memory card. We can pick up where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anaemia.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Sheldon: Good morning. If I could have everyone's attention, please? I know we're all eager to get on the road to Big Sur, so if we focus, I'm sure we can get through this orientation in under a half an hour. Then it's just Q&A, quiz, safety drills, pose for commemorative group photo, and we're off.
Leonard: (To Penny) Don't worry. Just sit next to me during the quiz, and you can copy my answers.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: Now, sit down. I call your attention to the events of November 16. Do you remember that date?
Penny: (reading the transcript Sheldon prepared) Darn tootin', I do, if the court will excuse my homespun, corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase.
Sheldon: Excellent. Go on.
Penny: The reason that date is, like, so totally fixed in my memory is that I had the privilege to be witness to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in, like, ever.
Sheldon: And who performed that heroic act?
Penny: Why, you did, sir. You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and may I add, it is a privilege to know you.
Sheldon: There's no need for compliments, this court is only interested in the facts.
Penny: But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you. Totally. A teardrop rolls down my cheek?
Sheldon: Only a suggestion. A catch in your throat would work just as well.
Penny: (feigning sadness) But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you. Totally.
Sheldon: Maybe you should put on your Juicy pants again.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Sheldon: The dog - koira. The roof - katto. Grapes - viinirypleet. One minute. Sisn!
Raj: What was that?
Sheldon: It means come in. It's taking forever to load the new operating system on my computer. I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Sheldon: You know, Penny, there's something that occurs in beehives you might find interesting. Occasionally, a new queen will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains.
Penny: What are you saying, that I'm threatened by Alicia? That I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go?
Sheldon: I'm just talking about bees. They're on the Discovery Channel. What are you talking about?
Penny: Bees.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Sheldon: Who was at the door?
Leonard: Oh, uh, building manager. They have to fix a pipe so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to two.
Sheldon: That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice.
Leonard: No, no, it doesn't matter, we'll be at work.
Sheldon: Well, what if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and have to come home to change, only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak.
Leonard: Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!
Sheldon: I'll have the chicken noodle. Goodnight.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Sheldon: I can't believe you hung up on me!
Leonard: What the hell? What are you doing here?
Sheldon: I am proving you wrong. I've been working back there for hours. You had no idea.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
Sheldon: Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. I don't know what it is, but when they start munching on eucalyptus, I just melt inside.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Leonard: Sheldon, get out here!
Sheldon: Will you keep it down? What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast do you think I'm running?

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs. I will demonstrate that I was improperly instructed in driving by a woman whose lack of respect for society borders on the sociopathic. I will argue that the emergency met the legal doctrine of quod est necessarium est licitum, that which is necessary is legal. But first, I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue. I'm unable to confront my accuser, a non-human entity, to wit, a camera. So, to sum up, improper instruction, quod est necessarium est licitum, Sixth Amendment. My milk stool is complete.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Penny: Okay, look, you have an office at work. Why don't you go there?
Sheldon: I can't go to the office every time I have a brilliant thought. I'd basically be living there.
Leonard: Sounds good, do that.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Sheldon: I folded your laundry for you. You're welcome.
Penny: Uh, that's not mine.
Sheldon: You're saying that these aren't yours?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: So you're saying that I'm touching a stranger's underpants?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: And just like that, it's the worst day of my life.

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