Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 203 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Howard: Hey. How was dinner?
Leonard: Swell. I need a drink. Do we have any alcohol?
Sheldon: No. But we have potatoes, I could make you vodka. It'll take two weeks.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Raj: Okay, look. Instead of trying to reinforce this structure here, what if we just ran another line, bypass it entirely?
Sheldon: It won't work. The diameter of the tubing is insufficient.
Raj: What if we reposition the collection tank?
Sheldon: It won't work. No way to mount it.
Howard: Okay, here's an idea. What if I change my name and go live with my cousin and her husband Avi in Israel?
Sheldon: That could work.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: I was Spock. Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Are you and Leonard friends with benefits?
Penny: Where did that even come from, did he say we were?
Sheldon: No, Leonard said nothing, but who knows what goes on over here when he pretends your mail was mis-delivered.
Penny: No, just mail, no benefits.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Leonard: God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?
Sheldon: I heard a noise.
Leonard: It was us. We knocked over a lamp.
Sheldon: Why would you knock over a lamp?
Leonard: We were going to have...
Penny: He doesn't need to know what we were doing, Leonard.
Sheldon: Oh! No, she's right, I don't need to know what you were doing. Carry on.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: No, but it's not just video games. I downloaded the new O.S. for my phone. Took me a week to stop accidentally texting kissy faces to everyone.
Howard: Oh, so our love is not real?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Sheldon: I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I'll risk it. But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Penny: Oh, alright. I will give you my bed on one condition. That you promise to zip your hole for the next eight hours.
Sheldon: May I say one last thing.
Penny: Only if it doesn't rhyme.
Sheldon: Alright. Goodnight.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Raj: Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
Sheldon: Can't happen. We have an iron-clad relationship agreement which precludes her from sexual contact with anyone other than me.
Raj: But you don't have sex with her either.
Sheldon: Slick, huh?

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Amy: What's the game?
Penny: All right, it's called Never Have I Ever. The rules are simple. Someone says something they've never done, but if you have done it, you take a drink.
Leonard: I've never played that before.
Sheldon: Hey, now, wait. Have we started? Do I drink? What is happening?

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Leonard: Don't you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?
Sheldon: Our apartment was broken into, our security system tried to kill me, and as a result, I'm leaving Pasadena forever. Tell me how that's overreacting.
Penny: Come on, Sheldon, you can't move. Don't you need to stay in one place so the mother ship can find you when it returns?
Sheldon: Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately, as I'm earthbound for the foreseeable future, I need to find a location that's more hospitable than the mean streets of Pasadena.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. You can't turn your back on physics. Besides, you have no idea what you're doing with this stuff.
Howard: But if you really want to learn the mechanical side, I can teach you anything you want to know.
Leonard: And instead of standing around watching, you can help us build your smaller guidance system.
Howard: And with all these new skills, you'd be able to fix any model train. You'd be the king of the train store!
Sheldon: Excuse me. I have a girlfriend. I'm already king of the train store.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: All right, now, before you enter my bedroom unescorted, I need you to understand that this onetime grant of access does not create a permanent easement. ... Easement. It's a legal right of access. ... Good grief. What? No, don't put me on hold. Aw.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: Sing Soft Kitty.
Penny: That's only for when you're sick.
Sheldon: Homesick is a type of being sick.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Sheldon: Like Enid, Oklahoma. Low crime rate and high-speed Internet connectivity, but no model train shops. Sorry, Enid.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: I guess I just need to face it, I'm no longer a wunderkind. Now I just wonder what's for lunch.
Leonard: Hot dogs.
Sheldon: Yay.

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