Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 204 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Penny: What was all that about me trading sexual favors for material gain?
Sheldon: It was a compliment. I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Hang on, I think I've got this. Help me see if we can wedge this little piece of PVC behind the support rod.
Sheldon: You're overestimating the tensile strength of the substructure you're building.
Howard: Sheldon, I know what I'm doing.
Sheldon: If you knew what you were doing, there wouldn't be a space toilet where my coffee table should be.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: So what's our first pose going to be?
Raj: I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene.
Leonard: I'll set the timer.
Howard: Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?
Sheldon: Mr. Data's weapon is his mind. I'm wielding it.

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags. Before we get started, I'd like to announce the winner of our design your own flag competition. But I can't. The only entry was from GameyGamer75, and I know that was a jpeg of your buttocks.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Howard: Well, Howard, thank you. It's quite a gesture on your part. You've shown yourself to be the bigger man.
Howard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Which I found totally unacceptable. I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Sheldon: All right, Boone, North Carolina. Every summer since 1952, Boone has hosted an outdoor amphitheater portrayal of the life and times of its namesake, Dan’l Boone. Sounds like something that would attract the wrong crowd.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Leonard: I am not going to have sex with her.
Sheldon: Maybe this will overcome your reluctance. I went on the Internet and found a photograph of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham to get your libido humming. Check out those saddle shoes. Rar!

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: Yes, I'm still here. Where am I going? I'm on a train. Now, what you'll be looking for is a small wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere and a sample of quartz flecked with pyrite. Hoberman's Sphere. It's a collapsible icosidodecahedron. No, the thing with the time on it is my alarm clock.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: Oh, my God. Leonard, someone's stealing your car!
Leonard: What? Hey, hey! Come back here!
Raj: Stop!
Sheldon: Stealing is against the law!

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Sheldon: Now this week we have a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. And to help me, I'm pleased to introduce Internet personality, former star of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized in one sixteenth scale. Set phasers to fun for my friend, Wil Wheaton.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Leonard: I grew up in a house full of crazy academics. Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies, we had to leave him a research paper. And in the morning, you could tell he'd been there because the paper would be graded.
Sheldon: No wonder you love Christmas. That sounds amazing.
Leonard: It wasn't amazing. I got a C- four years in a row.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm familiar with your work. C-minus was your gift.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Sheldon: A naked man sat on it. Now, here's my concern, his diet is rich in fatty deli meats. What tests do you have to detect lipid residue?
Store owner: Lipid what?
Sheldon: Lipid residue. An anal autograph. A colon calling card, if you will.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: I'll call 911. What, oh, no, my phone is in my other pants.
Howard: Oh, so is mine.
Leonard: Mine, too. Anybody got any ideas?
Sheldon: Nope. The only thing left to do now is assign blame. (To Raj) Nice going.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: So, we have the where and the when, but we still need to figure out who's going to do the ceremony.
Penny: Well, that's easy. Anyone can go online and get ordained as a minister. I know a piercing parlor where for a hundred bucks they'll marry you and stick a wedding ring through any body part you want.
Bernadette: Great, well, who's it going to be?
Sheldon: I'll do it, provided I can perform the ceremony in Klingon.
Bernadette: No.
Sheldon: What do you see in her?

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Howard: Hey, look who's back!
Sheldon: Interesting. The acquaintance is the first to greet me.

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