Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 205 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: You know, I don't know how I feel about all this baby-proofing. If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs, then maybe that's nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Leonard: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
Sheldon: What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: All right.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Leonard: I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long. These are great. I just started number six.
Sheldon: That's a good one. Dumbledore dies in that one. Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either.
Leonard: Why would you say that?
Sheldon: You brought up the subject. I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It's called the art of conversation. Okay, your turn.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Yeah, I used to be uncomfortable around people, but then I learned a trick. I pretend everyone I meet is a beloved character from Star Trek.
Howard: How's that been working for you?
Sheldon: Oh, like a charm, unnamed crewman in a red shirt.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Leonard: Why would you say that?
Sheldon: You brought up the subject. I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It's called the art of conversation. Okay, your turn.

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Wil Wheaton: Listen, Sheldon, I'm really happy to do this for you, but not if she's gonna be a huge pain in the ass the whole time.
Amy: You gonna let him speak to me like that?
Sheldon: Well, you're my girlfriend and I don't want you to be upset. Then again, Wil Wheaton's my friend and I don't want him to be upset. Hmm, this is a sticky wicket. (To Wil) What do you think?

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Sheldon: What? I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast. Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch. Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts 'cause you think they're ugly. You're impossible.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: Go away.
Sheldon: Did Leonard tell you to say that?
Howard: No, I thought of it all by myself.
Sheldon: Huh. It can't be a coincidence. There must be some causal link I'm missing.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Employment adviser: So, Mr. Cooper, you're looking for a job?
Sheldon: A menial job. Like yours.
Employment adviser: Why thank you for noticing. I'm Menial Employee of the Month.

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Sheldon: All right, my turn. Mm. Oh, I know. Never have I ever kept a secret bank account, because I think my wife can't handle money.
Did I win? I feel like I won.
Penny: I can't believe this. You realize I make more money than you?
Leonard: I don't - I know, but this isn't a big deal. It's just a little savings I put aside.
Penny: We're married. We're supposed to share everything.
Leonard: What, you mean, like, your massive credit card debt?
Sheldon: I'm calling it. I won.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Leonard: I don't have to put up with this.
Sheldon: Actually, I have your signature on a Roommate Agreement that says you do.
Leonard: Here's what I think of your Roommate Agreement.
Sheldon: You pick that up right now.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Roommate Agreement, Section 27, Paragraph 5: "The Roommate Agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground."

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: Ah, much better.
Leonard: You must be burning up.
Sheldon: A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: So, I'm thinking, you won the Nobel Prize what, three years ago? So you must deal with a whole lot of what has Smoot done lately? My thought is we continue my research as a team, you know, Cooper-Smoot, alphabetical, and when we win the Nobel Prize, you'll be back on top.
George Smoot: With all due respect, Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?
Sheldon: Fine! Smoot-Cooper. Wow, what a diva.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Raj: Go away!
Sheldon: Curiouser and curiouser.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Don't worry, officer. They just love each other. We're not smuggling drugs.

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