Countdown to the series finale: 28 days

Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 205 of 255

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Leonard: There you go, three against one.
Sheldon: They don't get a vote. It's one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me.
Leonard: But I said no to that.
Sheldon: And I said yes. And I settle all ties.

Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Leonard: Penny doesn't want to have kids. I respect that. But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.
Amy: Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad. It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
Sheldon: Although, someday, if that kid wants to know why he's short, nearsighted, and asthmatic, he may hunt you down.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Leonard: We did them at Princeton, too.
Howard: Oh, that's cute. Like it's a real college.
Sheldon: That's amusing. I was going to say the same about M.I.T., but it works for Princeton, too.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Amy: So, why do you feel you need to save these things?
Sheldon: I'd like to say it's nostalgia, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach. And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then the, the rats get eaten by...
Amy: Okay. I get it. I get it.
Sheldon: It ends with dinosaurs. I'm sorry if you think less of me.
Amy: I don't.
Sheldon: Really? 'Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: Because I'm a fraud. No, I purport to be a man of the mind. I've been such a, a vocal champion of the singularity. But how can I leave my body behind and become one with the Internet when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away?

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: Topic one. Faster-than-light particles at CERN, paradigm-shifting discovery or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese? And converse.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Leonard: We're not living together.
Sheldon: I beg to disagree. "A girlfriend shall be deemed quote living with un-quote Leonard when she has stayed over for A. ten consecutive nights, or B. more than nine nights in three week period, or C. all the weekends of a given month plus three weeknights."
Leonard: That's absurd.
Sheldon: You initialed it. See? L.H., L.H., L.H.
Leonard: Wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen! I initialed another clause naming you my sidekick in case I get superpowers.
Sheldon: Hmm, yes, you did.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Sheldon: Hello, Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Nice sword.
Sheldon: It's part of my sword collection. Do you have a sword collection?
Wil Wheaton: No.
Sheldon: I'm not surprised.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Thank you for driving me to work.
Penny: You know this is my day off, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, good. I'm not keeping you from anything.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Sheldon: And guess where we get to sleep? Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Leonard: I'm going to bed.
Sheldon: At least take this with you. Look, and have Stephanie initial here, here, here, here and here. This states that she does not now nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Stuart: Here's the Batman 612 with the Jim Lee alternate cover that you wanted.
Wil Wheaton: Awesome. What do I owe you?
Stuart: Forty bucks.
Wil Wheaton: Good deal.
Sheldon: Sucker. Didn't even ask for the friends and family discount.

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Raj: Focused Locust.
Stuart: Temple of Yip.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Wolowitz would never play that card.
Stuart: All right, Lesser Demon Turtle.
Sheldon: Fairy God Monster, I win. Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: You're going up Euclid Avenue?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: Leonard takes Los Robles Avenue.
Penny: Well, good for Leonard.
Sheldon: Euclid Avenue is shorter as the crow flies, but it has speed bumps, which appreciably increase point-to-point drive time, making it the less efficient choice. But you have the conn. Of course, if you're not going to slow down for the speed bumps, I withdraw my previous objection.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Leonard: You really think he's gonna send us to a bowling alley?
Sheldon: Well, if he does, do you know how filthy those rental balls are? They might as well stand on the corner and give away free rectal exams.

Quote from the episode The Mystery Date Observation

Sheldon: What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
Howard: You thought she was great in X-Men.
Sheldon: Oh, fine. I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.

Showing quotes 3,061 to 3,075 of 3,818Sort by  popularity | date added | episode