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Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace, this is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and one half of the Golden Treasure for two - oh, for heaven's sake! In the mid-18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
Penny: I don't need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.
Sheldon: My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.
Penny: One was already in an accident.
Sheldon: Doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I'm driving.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Penny: Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was the science officer. And I guarantee you that if he saw the Enterprise's "Check Engine" light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you'll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: When was the last time you had your menstrual cycle?
Penny: Oh, I'm not answering that Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm going to say in progress.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: You keep in mind that my sharply-worded comments on Yelp.com recently took down a muffin store.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: Cause of Injury: Lack of Adhesive Ducks.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I'm sorry. There there. Everything's gonna be okay. Sheldon's here.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: There there, everything is going to be fine... Sheldon's here!

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, or do I have to wait for someone in the restaurant to order the other half?

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Hey, I thought of a game we can play in the car.
Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It's called Scientists. Now, I will name three scientists, then you will put them in order of the size of their contribution to their respective fields. To make this game even more compelling, you must consider only the contribution of the man to the field, not the validity of the field itself. For example, Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayn made a greater contribution to the discredited field of alchemy than Halbert Vanderplatt made to neurobiology. Okay, ready to have some fun?

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Leonard! Stop the car!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I can't listen to the two of you fight anymore.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Come on, come on, we're late.
Leonard: Calm down, we'll make the movie.
Sheldon: I believe my alarm is appropriate, given the situation. The movie starts in 17 minutes, which means we'll need to make all the lights on Colorado Boulevard, plus skip the concession stand, and pre-show urination.

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