Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 206 of 207

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Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in the wheelchair.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Sheldon: Payback, it truly is the B word, isn't it?

Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation

Dr. Elizabeth Pimpton: Ah, Dr. Cooper, thank goodness. I completely forgot your address. But then I remembered that Id written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I'd written on my other hand, which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. 'cause if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity. Anyway, hello.
Sheldon: Hello.
Dr. Elizabeth Pimpton: Nice to finally meet you in person.
Sheldon: I would imagine it is.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: Who are you?
Toby: I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.
Leonard: Oh, God! Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo.
Toby: Au contraire. I'm 26 years old. I'm originally from (reads off character profile) Denton, Texas, but I was a Navy brat so I was brought up on a variety of military bases around the world. As a result, I've often felt like an outsider, never really fitting in, which is probably the reason for my substance abuse problem.
Sheldon: Excuse me, we just went over this. As the quintessential middle child, your addiction is rooted in your unmet need for attention.
Toby: Oh, Sheldon, are we really going to go with pop psychology.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, hi, hi. How's it going?
Sheldon: Uh, can't complain. Thanks for asking. What were you doing out at three o'clock in the morning?
Leonard: Well, uh - uh, what are you doing up?
Sheldon: I was using the bathroom.
Leonard: Yeah, well, so was I.
Sheldon: Really? I didn't see you in there.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: I am facing a great deal of work. And I do like things better when famous people also like them.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: When we're sleeping, she breathes on me. One night, it got so bad I almost grabbed Toto and headed for the storm cellar.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: Like all my underwear, that notebook says "Property of Sheldon Cooper."

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Hang on, hang on! We're smart, we can figure this out. Okay, so: Mary and Beverly can't be together. Uh, Alfred and Beverly can't be together. Leonard and I can't be together. Now, I could be with Alfred but I don't like his face.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Amy: Are you excited to see your son walk down the aisle?
Alfred Hofstadter: Yes, I am. I'm just feeling a little guilty about all the trouble I've caused.
Mary Cooper: Oh, so am I.
Sheldon: You made God sad today, Mom.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: Do you have any advice for us?
Marty: Well, I don't know much about patent law. But, uh, my advice is: hear them out, offer as little information as possible, and whatever you do, don't sign anything.
Sheldon: "Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned?
Marty: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: That's what you said.
Marty: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: This must be how you practice law in Boca Raton, by saying things you don't mean and meaning things you don't say.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: Hi.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars.
Penny: Does he even like lemon bars?
Sheldon: Not really. But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: Are you okay? Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better. I had my first energy drink and I feel great. Hey, you guys want to wrestle? We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo. Nah, we're not fat enough, or wearing diapers.

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