Sheldon: I am cool. This is YooHoo. Chocolate milk's delicious, watery cousin.

Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: I don't think so.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Sheldon: Oh, now, what about our 3-D chess set?
Leonard: Let me guess, you want it.
Sheldon: Well, no, I just didn't think you'd want a physical reminder of a game you never managed to win. As a kindness, I should probably take all the games.

Penny: You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon?
Sheldon: Hey! I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
Penny: You gave me a bill at the end of every month.

Amy: Actually, we met online. Our first date was at a coffee shop.
Sheldon: Although, unlike your date, she actually showed up. Oh, he looks sad again.

Amy: We should go say hi.
Sheldon: Why?
Amy: Because that's what you do when you see someone you know in a public place.
Sheldon: I have multiple restraining orders that say otherwise.
Amy: Sheldon, there's a difference between greeting a friend and following a celebrity into a bathroom.
Sheldon: If the judge couldn't explain it to me, I don't see how you will.

Sheldon: So they're both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That's hilarious.

Raj: I've been plenty of times. If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy.
Sheldon: I'm a big boy, and if I missed one, I'd throw a big-boy tantrum.

Sheldon: Like all my underwear, that notebook says "Property of Sheldon Cooper."

Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice.
Sheldon: No bendy straw? Some party.

Sheldon: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Amy: In fact, that's when I started to really miss you.
Sheldon: You know you just split an infinitive.
Amy: Did I? Are you gonna teach me a lesson?
Sheldon: I am. It is naughty to put an adverb between the word "to" and the verb stem.
Amy: What are you gonna do about it?
Sheldon: I'm going to admonish you.
Amy: Vigorously?
Sheldon: That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

Sheldon: Leonard fairly calls the question, who is in favor of abandoning our game and confronting Penny's steroid-infused ex-boyfriend in a suicidal mission to extract money from him?
Say hi to Kurt for us.
Leonard: Excuse me. When Frodo left the Shire to take the one ring to Mordor, didn't Samwise, Pippin and Merry go with him?
Sheldon: They did.
Leonard: Well?
Sheldon: They had a terrible time of it, Leonard.

Penny: Oh, hey, and do yourself a favor, all right? When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night.
All right? As far as you're concerned, you don't know anything, you didn't see anything. I want you just to play dumb.
*Beverly is standing in the doorway behind Penny, listening to the conversation*
Sheldon: It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example.

Beverly Hofstadter: Penny, wait.
Penny: Why?
Beverly Hofstadter: I wanted to thank you for going through all the trouble of planning a second wedding ceremony for me, but unfortunately I cannot attend.
Leonard: Wait, why? What's wrong?
Sheldon: Wha- Are we still doing the dumb thing? Okay, why, what's wrong?

Beverly Hofstadter: I just cannot stay here while your father goes out of his way to humiliate me.
Sheldon: Oh, golly, however did he humiliate you?
Beverly Hofstadter: Stop it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Do I say "Stop what?" or just throw in the towel?