Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.

Penny: So, how you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Penny: You're just coitusing with me, aren't you?
Sheldon: Bazinga!

Howard: You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in the wheelchair.

Howard: Yeah, since when do you take walks?
Sheldon: I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increase serotonin. And you know me, if there's one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it's serotonin. Bye-bye.

Howard: So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.

Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?
Penny: Everyone.
Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I'll just substitute intercourse.
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.

Penny: How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
Penny: I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
Sheldon: I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.

Sheldon: I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.

Penny: Why don't you give me an hour and come over?
Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?
Penny: I don't have hot dogs.
Sheldon: Oh, it's all right, I do. Oh. You're in for what my mother calls a real Eye-talian treat.

Howard: The point is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.

Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Well, of course I'm hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation.

Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Certainly. It's not like I have to moderate my food intake because I'm planning on eating again very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!

Howard: So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.

Howard: Do I smell hot dogs?
Sheldon: No. I mean, I have no idea what you smell.
Howard: I definitely smell raw hot dog.
Sheldon: Perhaps you're getting a brain tumor.

Penny: So, um, was Leonard okay with you coming over?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, he said, I'm fine, I don't care. And he in no way said it in a manner which would lead one to believe that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal.
Penny: Well, good.
Sheldon: I'm also pleased to report that he's all cried out over you.
Penny: He's been crying?
Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn't supposed to mention.