Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 206 of 247

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Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Leonard: Do you think I'm overdressed?
Sheldon: It depends on the activity. For a prostate exam? Yes. If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins.

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Penny: Really? On top of everything, you're afraid of birds?
Sheldon: Its called ornithophobia and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship Agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. You can't own a person, at least not since?
*Leonard stares at him*
Sheldon: 1863. When President Lincoln freed the?
*Leonard looks fed up*
Sheldon: Slaves. Come on, Leonard. If you're gonna teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Leonard: Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
Sheldon: Well of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14 she severed the webbing between her own toes?

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Leonard: Hey, can I talk to you about something? It's a little awkward.
Sheldon: I know what this is about. Given the professional standstill you're at, you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching. Yes! And if I may suggest, consider changing discipline. To the humanities or perhaps history. One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things, you know, you just have to remember stuffs that happened and then parrot it back. You could have fun with that.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Amy: Goodnight, Stuart.
Stuart: Goodnight.
*Stuart and Amy hug*
Sheldon: (From inside Amy's apartment) Take the hint, Stuart, the lady said goodnight!

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I'm the guy.
Penny: You're not the guy.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It would explain so much. Your constant presence in my apartment. That baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me. The way you call me sweetie all the time.
Penny: I call everyone sweetie.
Sheldon: You tramp.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
Amy: I'm listening.
Sheldon: With the understanding that nothing changes what so ever - physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
Amy: Interesting, now try it without the quadruple negative.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Penny: Strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
Sheldon: Strap on a pair of what? ...Skates?
Penny: Oh, you are so not the guy.

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Sheldon: (To the smoking monkey) You really are an ass.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Sheldon: Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I think I'll turn in. I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Leonard: You think Penny's right? Were we bullying Zack?
Howard: No, I know bullying. He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
Raj: And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
Leonard: That happened to you?
Raj: First day of cricket camp. They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.
Leonard: I don't know, I think we might owe the guy an apology.
Howard: So go apologize.
Leonard: Why me?
Howard: You started it, we just piled on.
Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud.
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavour, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.

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