Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 207 of 230

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Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: Good morning! See? I didn't knock, but it's fine. (Quietly to himself) I didn't knock, but it's fine. I didn't knock, but it's fine.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Raj: How bad is it?
Sheldon: Let me put it this way. Do you own a barrel and suspenders?
Raj: Are you serious?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Amy: What are you reading?
Sheldon: This article says the peak age for making a Nobel Prize-winning discovery is 40.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: So, I'm running out of time.
Amy: That's ridiculous, you're a brilliant man. The best years of your life are still ahead of you.
Sheldon: Oh, you have to say that, you're sweet on me.

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid, narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Amy: What's going on with him?
Penny: Oh, he's all bent out of shape about having a roommate agreement meeting.
Sheldon: Apparently, perfect attendance isn't cool any more.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Amy: Well, if you're really worried about your career, maybe you should consider spending a little less time with video games and comic books.
Sheldon: Hey! I thought you were sweet on me.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Sheldon: That show ended with all the residents of New York either dead or unconscious. Oh, now I'll never know what happened.
Penny: Well, why don't you make up your own ending?
Sheldon: Oh, sure, what a wonderful idea. And after that, I'll make up my own rules of oral hygiene. You know, instead of flossing, I'll rub pudding on my gums.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Leonard: Look, I'm sorry Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night.
Sheldon: Don't listen to him, he's still light headed from all the Irish whiskey and pickled eggs in his system.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Sheldon: Now, knowing Penny, the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus. But, since that's what it looked like, we can rule that out. Let's put on our thinking cap, shall we? (Mimes doing so) Raj is from India, a tropical country. Third World hygiene. Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms. he procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait until the subject is asleep, and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air. (Leonard spits out his food) Yes, just like that. Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites. Oh, boy. That's a true blue friend.
Leonard: They slept together, Sherlock.
Sheldon: No, you weren't listening. She said, it's not what it looks like.
Leonard: She lied.
Sheldon: Oh. Well don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: We got you that book last year. Wasn't everything in there?
Sheldon: No, I'm having a relationship problem with Amy. And by the way, that book gave me nightmares.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: Sheldon, you got a minute?
Sheldon: Of course, my good friend. Come in. Help me out, which ski hat says aprs supercollider?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
Sheldon: Well, of course you are. Who else would you take?
Leonard: Penny.
Sheldon: What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
Leonard: Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.
Sheldon: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Sheldon: So they're both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That's hilarious.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: Great Caesar's Ghost, look at this place!
Leonard: So Penny's a little messy.
Sheldon: A little messy? The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy, this is chaos.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: What were you doing with Priya?
Sheldon: I believe they engaged in coitus but, more importantly, if Leonard had not abandoned his story, would you have found it plausible?

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Sheldon: That sounds like sarcasm, but I'm going to disregard it, because I have an agenda. Paintball. Specifically, the interdepartmental tournament this weekend. Now, in order to function better as a fighting unit, I thought we should establish a chain of command. Now, it goes without saying that I would outrank the three of you, but the question remains, by how much? Now, I don't see me as some four-star general, back at HQ riding a desk and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense. But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper, because that might lead you to think of me as just a regular Joe. This might take some thought. As you were.

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