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Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Okay. I'll say an element, and uh, you say an element whose name starts with the last letter of the one I said, okay? I'll start. Helium. Now, you could say Mercury. That would give me a Y. Ooh, very clever, that's a tough one. So I go Ytterbium, which gets you back to M. So you go Molybdenum, and I say Magnesium, you say Manganese, and I say Europium, and, and you're left with Mendelevium, and there are no more M's because I believe that Meitnerium should still be called Ekairidium, so congratulations, you win. Do you wanna go again?

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, there you are, I'm ready to go home.
Leonard: I just got here.
Sheldon: Good, perfect timing.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Raj: Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road anyway?
Sheldon: We had a difference of opinion.
Raj: Over what?
Sheldon: Whether or not he was trying to kill me. For the record, I maintain he was.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Where are you going?
Raj: I'm taking you home.
Sheldon: Oh, but I'm not going home. It's Wednesday. Wednesday is new comic book day. We have to go to the comic book store. And then we have to stop at Soup Plantation, it's creamy tomato soup day, and Radio Shack, there's a sale on triple-a batteries. Plus, we have to go to Pottery Barn and return my Star Wars sheets.
Raj: I have a better idea.
Sheldon: You want to go to Pottery Barn first?

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Leonard: Sheldon, sit down.
Sheldon: She's in my spot. Don't look at me like that. Everybody knows that's my spot.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

DMV Worker: Application?
Sheldon: I'm actually more of a theorist.
Howard: The application in your hand, give it to her.
Sheldon: Oh.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Howard: Sheldon, why are you arguing with the DMV?
Sheldon: How else are they going to learn? Look, question 2, "When are roadways most slippery?" Now, okay, there are three answers, none of which are correct. The correct answer is, when covered by a film of liquid sufficient to reduce the coefficient of static friction between the tire and the road to essentially zero, but not so deep as to introduce a new source of friction.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Statistically, red cars are stopped by police far more often than any other color. I don't want any hassles with the fuzz.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: No. I quit. [After Sheldon stands up, there is a crashing sound from the driving simulation. Then pained noises from animals]
Leonard: Aw, the pet store?
Sheldon: Remind me to compliment Wolowitz on the software, it's amazingly detailed.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Leonard: So wait,you're just gonna give up?
Sheldon: No, I'm not giving up. I never give up.
Leonard: So what is it you're doing?
Sheldon: I'm transcending the situation. I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Well, those are indicators that I'm farther along the evolutionary scale than the average human.
Leonard: No kidding.
Sheldon: Well, no, no, I'm not going to go so far as to say that I represent a distinct new stage in humankind. You know, a Homo Novus, if you will. No, that's for anthropologists to decide. But I am convinced that the reason I cannot master the plebeian task of driving is because I'm not meant to.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Studies are shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces ones reaction time by the same factors as ounce of alcohol.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! (x3)
Penny: Sheldon, what is it?
Sheldon: Leonard's asleep.
Penny: Thanks for the update.

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly, it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.

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