Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 208 of 222

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Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Leonard: I just assumed. Who sells a full-sized time machine for $800?

Sheldon: In a Venn diagram that would be an individual located within the intersection of the sets 'no longer want my time machine' and 'need $800'.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Leonard: Howard brought a date?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Ramona: You are so witty.
Sheldon: Aren't I?

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Penny: Look, can we just forget about this extra stuff and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Sheldon: Alright. Leonard is attempting to learn why subatomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it? Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not. That's why Leonard does it.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Penny: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Sssh!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'm Batman! Ssssh!

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: You're going march yourself over there right now and apologize.
Sheldon: Pfffft.
Leonard: What's funny?
Sheldon: That wasn't sarcasm?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Oh. Boy, you are all over the place this morning.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, or do I have to wait for someone in the restaurant to order the other half?

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I have a masters and two PhDs. I should not have to do this.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Leonard: Sheldon. Don't make that noise, it's disrespectful.
Sheldon: I should hope so. It was a snort of derision.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Penny: Hey Sheldon, whattcha got there a new comic book?
Sheldon: Old comic book. I just got it from the safe deposit box.
Penny: What do you have a safe deposit box for?
Sheldon: Old comic books.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

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