Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 209 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: But understanding how other people are feeling, that's a weak spot for you.
Sheldon: I have gotten much better at that.
Amy: Have you? How am I feeling right now?
Sheldon: What the - How should I know? Excited? Itchy? Give me the first letter.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: You and I are in a relationship. I help you with your shortcomings, and you help me with mine.
Sheldon: How would you feel if I contacted your mother behind your back?
Amy: Delighted that you showed any interest in my family at all?
Sheldon: "Delighted"? What - Not if I guessed for a hundred years.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Sheldon: Wait, so how does the story end? Is the baby a jerk or is Bernadette a bad mother?
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? Is there another twist coming? Is the baby not theirs at all?

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Leonard: If you must know, Penny won a spa weekend from work and she's taking me.
Sheldon: Oh, well you know, that is interesting. I wonder what kind of infection you'll come home with. My money's on fungal.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Oh, Penny, I'm trying to take an interest in other people. Uh, how was your girls' night?
Penny: Oh, it was fine.
Sheldon: Did you have anything to eat?
Penny: Uh, chips.
Sheldon: (stammers) Anything to drink?
Penny: Some wine.
Sheldon: Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Leonard: Where is this coming from?
Sheldon: Leonard, she might be drunk. All she had was chips.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Well, what can we do to cheer you up?
Leonard: I really don't know.
Sheldon: You want to play Jenga? Or, uh, Ticket to Ride? Hearthstone? What would you be the happiest losing at?

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Would you like to play a driving game I invented?
Leonard: Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny?
Sheldon: Never mind.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you. Are you sure you should be going there?
Leonard: I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.
Sheldon: Very well. You got married spur of the moment. I don't see why your divorce should be any different.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: Oh! Good, you're here. Are you still fighting? If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases?

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: We were discussing Raj's recent breakup and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
Raj: It's okay, I'm fine.
Sheldon: You d- Don't fall for it. He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin, and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Amy: Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
Sheldon: You are happy?
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
Sheldon: Aw. Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth, but all right.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: Stay out of this. You and your stupid machine started this fight!
Sheldon: (gasps) You are lucky that this feelings machine doesn't have feelings.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Sheldon: Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.
Leonard: That's because we are.
Sheldon: Yes! I don't need an emotion machine! I am one!

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Penny: So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
Sheldon: I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. I took it to the train store, it said everyone was sad.

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